


Brutal and Beautiful

by DoDatLikeDat



Series: Brutal and Beautiful [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a fluffy ending, Established Lena Luthor/Kara Danvers, F/F, F/M, Fluff with a cherry on top, Friends to Lovers, High School Lovers, Homeless Natalie, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mention of Alcohol Use/Abuse, Multi, National City St. Lawson Highschool, Near Death Experiences, New Couple Natalie Della-Gortman/Ruby Arias, Ruby is my favourite character in the Supergirl Series, Showed of Child Abuse, So Ruby came out gayyyy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25960711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoDatLikeDat/pseuds/DoDatLikeDat
Summary: If you read my other Fanfiction of Supergirl it's called "Unbroken", these are just extra chapters that I didn't add on that one:)))
Relationships: Lena Luthor/Kara Danvers, Maggie Sawyer/ Alex Danvers, Natalie Gortman/ Ruby Arias, Robert Gortman/Leah Della-Gortman, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Lucy Lane
Series: Brutal and Beautiful [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957177
Kudos: 1





	1. Something is Perfect Around Here

National City, National City

June 2nd, 2019

Ruby's POV

-

SWITCHING POV's BETWEEN RUBY AND NATALIE.

-

trying to tell myself you'll fade while we're clinging to the mess we made

you are best loved from star

cause when we're close, we both leave scars

bury me to just make it stop, but come down too

your body feels like a ghost around mine of what i've been missing since my past life

-

//

Ruby is beautiful.

She is, seriously. She just looks like her mother, Samantha Arias, sort of, her face is a little more round em with high cheek bones that are soft as well and baby fat all gone, and it's amazing to see as her hair colour changes with the yearly seasons, light, tan, dark and then sometimes the shade close like her Aunt Maggie's. Her skin colour doesn't matter to Natalie though, it sounds biased and what anyone else says but they see Ruby for a coloured young woman as just as she sees her as a girlfriend, their bestfriend, but she would and will love Ruby for everything she is and isn't. Natalie couldn't give two flying fucks about race growing up in the streets to just live on another day, hypocrite but they just won't for the matter. Brazilian, African, Chinese, European, they deserve as much rights as well they do in America, a white person with French blood in their family tree from their human side of the family, their Mother's, a caucasian eighteen year old with legs for miles and even brighter green and grey eyes combined together, fell in love with a seventeen year old Brazilian girl. Ruby is so....different, she wasn't moody when puberty struck her which was late because of her Kryptonian powers happened at the same time which was bloody hell for her family of dealing with panic attacks and eating twice the amount she normally would, she's taller for sure but really Natalie is 5'11 and still growing and they wouldn't say she's a boob girl but........

The marks from Ruby's wounds, emotional and physical abuse from her Mother, is usually covered up, pulling her shorts down uncomfortably in the summer after Quinn noticed the deep, white scar imprinted in her thigh from her first self harm attempt and tapping her fingers on the wood around specific times of the day an answer when she used to smoke around that time, weeks, months, years ago. Sometimes, Ruby doesn't want to think, hear or see a peep of her Mother's name or even to be around the DEO to hear The Girlfriend, Lucy Lane, General Lucy Lane to be exact but other days, she sets up lunch and dinner dates with them with a huge smile on her face of a "yes" to go out tonight to see them, loving the two weeks while switching houses of the joint custody of Lena and Sam, two weeks each, her reactions are either like going to Disneyland or going to Hell. (Scares the shit out of Natalie of how fast her moods can change, her brain frequency bounces wave to wave making them not hear Ruby's thoughts, always a thrill but a scary one.) It's fresh, untreated trauma that their Mother, Haley, and Lena explained once when Ruby had a panic attack and wondered what triggered it, "The state, mental and physical state of Ruby's mind that she was in, her depression will never go a.....she won't be the same, she's not the same with that kind of pain she went through, she's now the girl with anxiety of waiting for the blow to her head but it never comes. But we can help her to realize it won't ever happen to her again."

Rage. Sadness. Guilt. Cold, fresh water. That's all they felt when Ruby asked ok the phone to come over that one day with Quinn since....something happened but promised to get to their house, the actual huge penthouse actually, in less than an hour, knocking on the door with Quinn asleep in the stroller with tears trickling down her face asking to come in. How could she not, hearing about what Sam has been doing to her for.....for almost six months now, for six months? How did they not know? They can read minds, shape shift into different people, do all these things with their mind but they didn't know, their bestfriend and then girlfriend had been hurting and they didn't know. But that's all they felt, their own knuckles breaking of how tight they were clenching their fists to not go over there and choke the life out of Sam, who cares if she's a famous business woman next to Lena a Luthor as well, nobody hurts Ruby. So that's what they did, helping her to show her it won't happen again, no matter what

Ruby hates it when they tell her that, arguing back, "But, my scars aren't pretty, I'm over well going to have to cover it up with makeup on my arms and thighs, it's ugly and-" But they love them. She loves every light freckle on Ruby's cheeks, nose and hands (such an odd spot she thinks), and her bright white teeth twinkle the same as Sam's, (Both are grateful she doesn't need to have braces, no awkward years and no twenty five thousand dollars down the drain.) Theres a tickle spot right behind her knee cap and on her thigh, can flutter a few seconds or squeeze hard making her squeal, slapping your hand away and you love it. Her laugh, gods her laugh, it sounds like heaven, everyone is so worried or excited to go into heaven or hell, whatever they believe in, whenever they'll go but heaven is when Ruby laughs, Ruby smiles, it's......perfect. She has a scar under her chin that's only like two and a half inches but it was her first when she didn't listen to her teacher in the sixth grade to slow down, slipping as her chin made in contact with the hard, cold ice. Quinn has the same dimple on his face, it's lower than where Maggie's are but not quite on her chin either like in the middle of it, unique and cute

Touching. She thinks, she thought Natalie is just touching in such soft, quiet moments, she thought that while "properly" meeting her at the LLRP, the Lena Luthor Reconcile Party of her fifth month being missing, at the same time she was mourning as well, snarky and witty and Natalie just turned out to be.....smooth and rough, at the same time, charming but also.....touching. A part of her wishes she werent such an asshole to Natalie that night but she was so, so depressed, her Aunt was snatched away from her just like that she there was no space for her to say shit because apparently, her Mother's pain was more important than hers. But they grew closer along with the months, Natalie being an ass sometimes for dating her then bestfriend, Mary-Rose Vell and then broke up, "picking" Ruby instead and the world madly span on, a now ex-bestfriend and a first, first, first, first girlfriend. But Natalie is slow, practised, like a dancing song kind of knowing all the steps and lyrics in the background, pulling Ruby along with the soft, cradled touches if she wants to or not

Natalie drives her crazy. Insanely-monkey crazy. Her playfulness and short happiness is so much like her own younger sister, Ashley, their eyes are the same, they're both freaking firecrackers with having food fights, jumping in the snow only in bathing suits and the one time she spent the day at her house while sliding down the stair case and out the door into the snow bank of the house porch, (Mrs. Della Gortman was thrilled with THAT one.) And just so, so very calm, wild and....lovable. The tickle fights are usually won by Natalie, a little talker and faster with the help of her Aunts, Alex and Lena to hold her down while teasing her knees and bellybutton until she can't help but yell out "UNCLE!", Natalie half hates and half loves having movie marathons, scolding themselves and Ruby to....maybe do some homework or help them clean the house but Ruby knew they loved to cuddle all day as well, besides half of them in the house has Super speed so the house can get cleaned fast anyway. The craziness Ruby has as well matched her younger siblings, she'll call all of the little toddlers her sisters and brothers because they are, they are, Eleanor, Jaxton, Andy and of course Quinn, they all love babbling and playing with Natalie until a little....confusion came up for the most understanding, oldest, Harley. "But if you're a boy, and a girl, what's.....what's, whats the colour of your bike?" Harley asked, knowing the most known WRth thing ever of blue for boy and pink for girl, Natalie smiled so big while hugging the little child so hard and murdered, it's green and black kiddo,

Nonbinary.

Gender fluid.

Trans

Transitioning Woman.

Transitioning Man.

(If that's what they wanted to be.

1\. Remember to ask what their pronouns are even if they represent as feminine already.

2\. Don't assume, don't think, educate yourself in the LGBTQ+ community so you don't mid gender or mispronounce someone again.

3\. Ruby Gisele Arias-Luthor, pronouns: She/her (But, that can always change, you're valid.)

That's in her notebook, kind of like a journal, she used that when she was coming out pansexual, buying books from libraries and the school library to educate herself on the LGBTQ+ community, about dysphoria, polyamory relationships and how that works, (She's not interested in that but her Mother definitely was with her other Aunts, Maggie and Alex, and somehow she can't look them in the eye when she thinks about them doing......it.) But yes, she wanted to educate herself fully and rightfully to not offend anyone and figure out what her sexuality really is, pansexual to be exact but it so just lined up with Natalie's identity and sexuality, bisexual and nonbinary as well.

The journey of Natalie's nonbinary discovery and coming out, again, remembering when Natalie's father, Robert, he helped one day of shaving their head with the plugged in hair buzzer, giving them a Ruby Rose haircut, kind of similar like her Aunt Alex's haircut choice, they considered dying it blue or purple but decided not to at least, buying Natalie different kind of binders even though she knows their capable of doing it themselves it's just a comfort thing for both of them Natalie talked to Ruby a lot, a lot about coming out nonbinary or gender fluid but it just fit them better at the end of the day, Ruby respected them since the start of Natalie talking to her about it with their heart in their throat, terrified of what they'd say but the second the words came out of their mouth with both parents on each side, hands intertwined.

Changing the name on her own Instagram bio to "her❤️" to "them❤️", same on Imessage of "My baby ❤️", it took them weeks to kiss, respecting each other's boundaries of having a partner, them wearing binders and practising vocal chords to feel comfortable and among others but Ruby would respect them as a person, a friend, a classmate to the ends of the Earth because they weren't partners when they met first of all.

A Daxamite and A Kryptonian.

Well, halves of of course since their both not full bred as of one of their parents human. In grade 9, History class upstairs of the highschool she read it about an old Japanese legend that in a different time capsules floating around in space that weren't their turn to be lived yet, or weren't chosen to, floating around while living itself over, over and over again while never noticed and with the darkness, loneliness and no purpose, of the live wasn't lived in the right time continuum where does it go? If she made a different decision in her life, skipping out on the LLRP Gala, picking Art instead of Theatre class, all these kind of if's would her life be different? Completely different?

So yeah, she didn't really care a lot about Natalie being an alien before she ignored them for a week, they were on the steps of her Aunt's house crying to forgive them and to only protect their own family, a lovely reunion in fact. She will however respect her family's wishes of the history of Krypton, Argo, but really it's 2020, she's so used of using her powers freely though her Aunt Lena is constantly trying to keep her safe, until she chooses to be a Superhero or not - so when she realized Natalie can read her mind (most of the time, her brain is sometimes on a different frequency as well as her Aunt Kara's that's why Aunt Lena can't read her mind,) but a Daxamite and A Kryptonian? -

\- Really not that surprising.

Natalie is probably.....one of the old fashioned people, she's ever met, plays guitar all day everyday on Saturday's and then brings the tips to the homeless people, Rap Battle Competitions are on their calendar of every Wednesday and Sunday nights, in the summers since she were thirteen going down to Cuba, California and even in London for street car races. All of them are a little bit dangerous, a little adrenaline addictive and well.....illegal, but it's fun. Ruby is shocked of hearing this, sure Natalie did travel a lot with her Grandmother while reconnecting with her after getting off the streets in 2016 but it was much faster these years of flying there, burrowing a car and then racing, coming back to National City with usual Second and Third Places but never had a first.....Ruby is her trophy.

Smoking cigarettes only on Friday nights and every two weeks on a Friday is their date night, dresses up and everything, using words like "whom" and "m'lady", not a lot of dreams to accomplish but the two big ones are, sell a music album or go onto the Military and Ruby will help them accomplish whatever they need, or want, even with old fashioned words "This is so cute, you guys like the same things!" Sam gushed, hugging Ruby and then Natalie, having to reach up the second time since Natalie was way taller then both of them, waving them off to go and have fun for their soccer game.

It was....sort of weird, sometimes Natalie needed time away though Ruby didn't mind, she did her own thing with Art, had her Soccer Games application with the School (She really wanted to go to college for a scholarship, that's be pretty cool,) and also dates for training with the DEO, a chance to....to impress her Mother, for once. But Natalie is different, they want to go to college or school in Canada where their Mother went and then....." _you know, like I don't want to have a plan for life Ru, whatever comes first will come first and....you can plan for everything, set goals but some might not happen until you're retired OR retiring and that's sad. That is like a rotten tomato sitting in the cabinet for weeks and....I'll already eat the tomato fresh from the garden, starting now."_ That's not....a regular Earth saying but what Natalie was trying to say is that they want to do whatever happens, happens. .....

Not really what Ruby flows with quite exactly but she'll follow Natalie anywhere, it feels like there's not enough time with Natalie, that's not what she's ready to leave yet, she doesn't have enough time with Natalie, she just needs more.

"I think you know my name.....it's Ruby. Ruby Arias." She took out her hand from holding on the champagne glass for her to shook, the girl looked down at her, she knew that they both know each other. It works like that, taking the hand with four fingers and the thumb wrapped around while bringing her lips down

"It's a pleasure, Ruby. Natalie, Natalie Gortman." She kisses for about four seconds before it felt too long of letting the soft, soft fingers go and it wasn't a smirk or a smile but it made Ruby hold onto the champagne glass a little harder with the hand

That was one of the best days of their life, but they want more of those at school of walking around the city at lunch time and looking into little cafes or window shopping, the library is a great place for them to study (and also get looks because come on, not slot of people like the Arias family since her Mother went crazy, twice, and the Gortmans are filthy rich, of course your families are both rich.) and the little dates, sometimes her Mom tags along, sometimes your parents tag along. The weird parts that you don't.....quite get yet is when her family has.....game nights? Activity days? Never had that as a kid, and when her Aunt, Lena, invited them and their little sister, Ashley to them was surprising but.....enjoyable. Nice. Known to be wanted around and wanting to receive the good graces from her family again since the whole coming out thing of being an alien.

It's only been eighteen months of knowing Ruby but you want it to be a lifetime. It's not everyday that you meet someone from a.....another planet, like yours. A sister planet of Daxam, Krypton right? A Daxamite and a Kryptonian, destined to be enemies but the bargain with the devil is always something more than you expect right? Well, they don't know, Earthly sayings are quite bizarre as they come. A lover. And, the DEO people, staff, whatever they do, talk about a love story similar to theirs, Mon El and Kara, are in the history AI's at the DEO who couldn't stay away from each other and neither you will for her. She's the light of your life, she's the light in the dark tunnel that you dug when your Grandmother passed and just....she's always there, it's like she's always been there somewhere

But, of course, she finds that silly instead of deeply romantic and inspiring like you think it is.

Waffle sundays are a must, you must be there before school or before Quinn eats it all

(You just recently found out this one and her face turned into a tomato, denying and denying but her favourite colour is Grey, with little Green specks around it and within.

You just like it because it makes her blush and smile. It's like a drug, like you can't not be crazy about her in anyway, it's a drug.)

And you're addicted to her.


	2. How Far Would You Go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Ruby's first mission with the DEO, I'll do a couple more chapters connected to this one with 'Natalie's POV, the aftermath and stuff.
> 
> But seriously, a lot us, teenagers (including myself like 100000%) do push themselves a little too hard, a little too fast to not impress people or themselves but like....showing that they can do whatever it is, whenever and however in their own way but also pushing themselves too hard. Like, they can do soccer games, practises, for weeks straight and mess up once and just....they crumble. All the way down. I have the same thing with my own anxiety, I want to be perfect but a rational and logical part of me knows that nobody is perfect and I'm still coming to terms with that. 
> 
> Okay, wow that got so depressing in seconds like the Titanic. But yes, take care of yourself and drink more water, did you eat today? Need help with homework? 
> 
> But yes, back to the story 
> 
> \- Natalie is....Natalie
> 
> \- Alex is a worried Mama 
> 
> \- Lena is furious 
> 
> \- Ruby just wants to make her Aunts and still alcoholic, phylogically and emotional abusive Mother proud.
> 
> But long story short.....this is Ruby's first mission alongside the DEO

Somewhere in a Cafe, National City

October 15th, 2020

Time on her Apple Watch: 1:27 p.m

\-------

I gotta admit when you all think about is the future, you think about the ball games you missing, the opportunities you be dissing, and forgetting what it's like kissing you

Your Mom's there but she don't make the walk to you no more, My Dad's here but his legs stopped working long ago, I guess we have the same hatred for alcohol

Laying in my bed and staring at the ceiling baby, I just wanna see if you feel what I'm feeling baby, gotta tell me what the deal is lately

I'm a closed book but somehow you learn to read through it, know I should relax after the way you hate I react but tell me what the deal is lately, baby

You know I say I'm good but you know I'm about to relapse all over, take the wheel when we tip over in flames baby, blame it all on you, blame it all on me but you came to me so you really think I'd leave you like that?

\-------

//

"Go! AGT-7, Go! Your time to shine!" Winn's voice squeaked through the comms startling her, she got up off the table while slapping a ten dollar bill on the counter beside the half finished chocolate milkshake to spare a few minutes in peace in this overcrowding and everything over the top- cafeteria that she hates even more in this situation. It's annoying - waiting around for more minutes to be wasted when she could just knock out the first guard by the entrance of the bathroom hall with talking into his sleeve every two minutes, the third is a few tables away slurping on a strawberry smoothie from a shop and playing on the probably burn-out phone from downstairs and the target, eating in the middle of the cafeteria with eating Chinese Food on a red tray and muttering, she couldn't hear all that well but the movement his lips were visible

She looked to the Smoothie Man before the target is getting up, putting down his money for the cafeteria workers as a tip before talking into his sleeve, making one for an emergency exit door before she got up, pulling a piece of paper out while trailing behind him and his two other bodyguards behind him that's in front of her and she cracks her knuckles. "Hey! Um sir? Do you know where the main exit of the mall is?" It makes one of them tense but one turns around, raising an eyebrow to her while she walks forward showing him a map of the mall and where they are near the cafeteria, when he gets close enough to point where it is, she pulls his hand forward, head butting him before jerking her knee up into his groin

"Fucking bitch! Amaro, go deal with.....that." The target, Ryan Deji is a real asshole and she just shakes of a woman being called "that" or "it" and she raises an eyebrow to this "Amaro" before he comes running fully at her, a 4" inch butterfly knife in his hand and she swerved. Butterfly knives are one not to be messed with if you know how to use it properly but he's fast with this one, flicking it to the side while shes knicked near the eye with blood trailing down her face and she slaps it out of his hand, punching the side of his face before using the wall for support to run while holding his arm and _crack!!_

"Shhh.....this will feel better. In a few surgeries or so," She mutters, twisting the hand into a ninety degree angle fully right around and he screams in pain, slumping against the wall and he knocks him out for good measure, that was about four and a half minutes she just spent on that and god knows where the target is. Fuck.

The door hits the back of the wall while she slams into it but the alarm doesn't go off, thankfully, well she doesn't know what school Deji went to but he definitely didn't do great in P.E, he's not every fast though his file says he should be "an active, perfectly healthy male in his mid 20's" should be a lie because she's almost right behind him by now, " the target was last seen wearing light blue jeans, a white long sleeve shirt with a black shirt, a big " _K_ " gold chain and approximately around 5'8" the file also said about him and it were true but the jeans were ripped and he had a backwards black hat on now. Ryan Deji mustn't have had a good childhood either, been on Santa's naughty list since he graduated highschool for assault of an teacher, breaking and entering houses, not having a license for three years and last but not least he did?

Bank robberies. All lined up in a week from each other, she's been up two days straight looking for his guy with her Uncle Winn in the comms and streets for anything (Now she'll never make fun of her aunts for staying up so late for the job,) and she did homework online at the DEO to eat. "Luthor-Arias, focus." Her Aunt Alex's voice came into her ear piece smirking even if she can't see her, taking a left and swerving to get out of the way but helped an old man up after Deji pushed him out of the way and she yelled a _sorry!_ over her shoulder

"I am, relax Director." she bit through the comms, she hated that were probably a helicopter nearby if anything happened to her, The Big Bad Alex Danvers Niece is on her mission so watch the fuck out, taking another left picking up speed and glaring as Ryan looks around for something as a distraction. She met his eye of sight while using her x ray vision to see a few other people talking through a different kind of comms and in alleyways, shit that's four other guys all together she bites back another mumble and to not pull the gun out, it's just for protocol, and after all of this she can get her badge, lock the handcuffs up on him like a real ass grownup, it made her excited, so excited she was going to get her DEO Badge-

Her phone is ringing. She takes the call with a quick tap on the Apple Watch connected through and through not seeing the Call ID first, "Luthor-Arias."

"Wow, we haven't seen each other since last week and we're on professional terms?" The husky, light voice cuts through that her Aunt could probably hear but she smiles

"I'm kind of busy....." She looks up, seeing a helicopter while Deji makes a signal to him before speeding up to the right and Deji makes a right as well, "......at the moment, Mom. Can I call you back in like an hour or so?"

"Kiddo, I'm a little bit worried for you that's all, Natalie called the house earlier looking for you but I said you were busy with DEO training and stuff, maybe I should call her back? I know how much you want to make the family proud but maybe you should take it down a few notches," Her Mother always worries, always worries about something but then pushes, encourages her to do the best she can in school, sports and well, now the DEO but it's apparently a "Mother's Instinct" whatever that means. But she does sound.....worried, like actually worried and die she take her medicine?

"No, I'll call her in a couple of minutes that's all, Mom, I'm fine I swear- Watch out!!" She dives while pushing a person out of the way while a few of the other people alongside Deji come running through to cover him with guns and knives been thrown while theirs screams, cries and laughter from Deji's men before she make sure the lady she saved is okay before dialing 911 in her phone and hearing her Mother's voice again while running after them, harder, faster "Ruby?! Ruby, what's going on? Baby?!"

"Mom! Mom, Mom I'm okay, it's just um...." I'm at work right now and I'm calling my Mother at work that will probably call my Aunt and Step Mother "Luthor-Arias, two other men are alongside Deji and a helicopter is in the air about West-North about three blocks down, you might want to hurry up! Security cam, ladder and a rooftop, you'll find it." It's the last thing she hears from her Aunt's side of the comms before it shuts off with a beep as a final warning if she wants that badge and she curses, the devil works hard but.......

"Don't tell me what I think you're doing right now, young lady. Do NOT tell me what you're doing what I think you're doing, I'm calling Lucy right now, I swear to god-" She winces, finding the security camera but shielding her face, climbing the ladder two at a time and spotting them on a nearby rooftop, yup, all three of them. "Bye Mom, I love you!" _Click_

She's in so much trouble when she gets back to the DEO but it'll be worth it. Her back legs hit the rooftop edge before she starts running, jumping far from rooftop to rooftop and shit, is this an adrenaline rush?! Pulling herself up from the edge is stone cold and slippery from the snow dropping but it's barely Halloween so how is it snowing? Deji sees her first while he widens his eyes and ducking while one of his men pull out a gun, aiming and she ducks out of the way, hiding behind a vent, "Come on, ya little piggy the big, bad wolf is going to get ya!" He yells while probably scaring a few birds away with it and she pulls out the gun from her boot holster and clicking the safety off with a _chh-chh,_ she has three rounds just in case while he fires again and she moves to the other side of the vent where he's looking for her but she aims for his thigh and the same with the guy beside him Two birds, one stone.

"You wanna play dirty, with my friends? Okay. Let's play." The other man asks, he has a huge scar above his eye that he totally should have an eye patch for and he looks a little older than the guys on the ground, groaning of a broken nose and their legs being soaked with blood on the cement rooftop. Charging at her with a fist and jumping, he's definitely not a human but his skin hasn't turned green with huge spikes so that's something and she ducks under his legs, elbowing the back of his neck hard, doing the same arm trick that her Aunt Alex taught her in training, she definitely played with him but not the way he wanted of course. Looking all around, and sees Deji still jumping rooftop to rooftop and she follows, silent this time with her gun clenched in her fists

_Ping. Ping. Ping._ Whoever it is, they have a gun too and she gives a shot to see how many more men but there's only two, one gun and Deji shielded away from her while hiding behind one of them and she shot again, hearing a painful yell but then movement and she moved again, hiding behind a taller vent for her height. "You feeling so confident then why don't you show yourself?" The voice sounded so familiar, so.....just like there, and she clenched her jaws together, running from vent to vent before she was close enough, punching one of the men, he was blonde and younger looking like her age almost, tall and slender than any of the other guys

He punched the gun out of her hand this time, making her put up her fists full of dirt and blood already and he bared his teeth in a wide smirk, "Well come on, little lady why don't you just show yourself?! Half of my men are dead and you're standing here.....let's make it a show." She hated when the enemy taunted her, teaser her heyy because she's a girl, the other weaker gender than what is supposed to he so strong, smart and righteous but half of his men are hurt AND dead so......

Punch. Over cut. Kick to the groin and then kicking the back of his leg while pulling his chin up with her hand and a knife from her waist band to his neck, "Drop it, or I'll drop him." Deji says, it sounds like more than a threat than a taunt and she looks up, one of his own guns to the other bodyguard with his hands up, black mask on and her eyes go to the shoes- white converse, painted with weird colours and red laces laced in the little holes. You got to be fucking kidding. She presses the knife harder while he clicks the revolver back, he is not kidding and she drops the knife, pushing him forward and Deji laughs, it's a proud chuckle of what he is, what he can do and it just spikes her anger "Go on, show her. This is a very, very good day for me, how about you Raymond?"

Daji pulls him with a bro hug and this "Raymond" laughs, slapping him on the back before pulling his own gun out from his waistband, clicking the safety off and she jumps, lurches, she shouldn't use her super powers because Ruby Arias is human, or so that's what the world knows, flipping the gun barrel up, flipping it in her hand before hitting Raymond in the face and then the barrel sitting right in front of Deji's face. Ugly, smirkful and just....ugly face while holding his hands on the back of his head, "Go on, little girl, shoot me. Go on, I want to see it." He seethes, he doesn't spit but it sounds like poison, sounds like death and the gun in her hand shakes a little

" _If you want to be a DEO Agent you have to be a top secret federal soldier as well, that just comes with the job. You have to be ready to kill, bring pain, break bones, you have to be ready if one of your own is bleeding out and shoot. If you're not.....desk job, ladies."_ Her Aunt Lucy's voice rings in her ears from a few days ago, she was training with her peers in the training rooms before Lucy started her "presentation" and god, she's not ready, she's not a.....killer. She lowers the gun while hearing Lucy's voice in her head, calling her names of a _disappoint, you'll never be a DEO Agent, how weak are you?,_ and others but she jumps into the other person's arms, using her hands on their shoulders and flipping her legs to their back and yanking the mask off in seconds, messy mild short hair is everywhere along with the tattoo of a cross behind their ear makes her jump off and push, a fire starting in her eyes.

"You! You....you!" She cant say anything else to not hurt their feelings while they look up, blond hair falling off their head and around their eyes, remembering the feeling of the soft hairs between her fingers with their lips onto hers and strong hands gripping her ass to lift her up and slamming into her the wall with one fist in the wall and heavy breaths falling from their lips.......

"I'm sorry," Natalie says, her also black gloved hand pulling back the blonde hair from their face and switching their stance to.....to, to a partner than an enemy right now and it makes her blood boil while it rushes into her ears, hearing Natalie's own heartbeat seven feet away separating them and this Raymond passes Natalie a gun and an eyebrow raise towards her and she shakes her head, what an idiot, this is so dramatic So dramatic. "I'll see you boys in California, later tonight. Oh and, Gortman? Don't waste my bullets." Deji smirked, pursing his lips to me and their jaw muscle worked, tightening but nodded anyway while he went jumping down a rooftop but Raymond stayed, watching us like a hawk to make sure Natalie does her part of the job but they winked, quickly, gesturing Raymond to come closer

_Trust me,_ the voice said in her mind said trickling in her head of Natalie's telepathic powers and she inhaled, not replying. "I think, um.....so what I'm thinking is we get her a little loose, a little loosened up from all those bullets that killed our brothers. Why not a punch or two in, aye?" Natalie whispered, it was a stir to get Raymond going and he nodded, falling for the bait before inhaling a den times before she realized he was upset about their "brothers" getting hurt, dying but Natalie had no sympathy, no softness in their eyes but a shoulder clap and pushing them forward and she looked over his shoulder where Natalie was picking up the gun again

Raymond is fast, too fast, she didn't know he had his own gun but expect the one he handed to Natalie with firing it off with a _bang!_ and a buzzing sound entered her ears and a voice yelling in her head, and an absolute fresh wave of pain in her shoulder, around the right collarbone to be exact but it was the wrong side of her body for her heart to be on. She choked on a word, grunting and little breaths out of air out of her clenched teeth and a hand going to her shoulder to hold before jumping in front of a vent to take cover and she was out, no gun, no knife, she was half human and half kryptonian, she can still bleed. It drips down her hand, blood oozing out of her fingers to keep pressure and hearing yelling while coming in and out of shock,

"We asked you to shoot her and I knew you wouldn't, I KNEW it so I had to! One of these days Gortman, you have to just man up!" Raymond's voice boomed Shuffling, a grunt and a click echoed the air and she held her breath, _please, please, please, please......._

"Do it, you love her don't you? Do it!" Raymond boomed and Natalie yelled as she scrambled up, blood soaking into her black leather jacket and her hand shaking by her side, seeing Natalie on top of Raymond, the gun thrown off a few feet away, Natalie's big, fast hands pounded down on Raymond's face, side to side with him grunting and blood being splattered to the sides of his face, purple circles forming quickly but they got up as fast as they did, breathing hard and harsh with their own fists clenching. Raymond is on the rooftop ground, spitting out blood with it also trailing down his nose that looks.....disoriented, and his eyes bruised as well, beaten to death but he gets up, charging for her and it's surprising that he has strength left after that but she scrambles back, one fist soaked with her own blood and one to defend herself but she doesn't think he'll go for her legs

Her bloody hand taps her ear while pushing his bloody purple and black face away from hers, punching once and he screams of the sensitivity. "So, where's that DEO Helicopter by now?" Her Aunt Alex this time, Uncle Winn must be off for now, "It came back to the base. Why?"

She bit her lip, thinking for an escape route from Raymond struggling to get back up on his feet and if she squinted, she might have seen Natalie leaving the scene with their flying and she growls. She could be a pussy and ask for the helicopter to just catch the damn guy and say she was distracted by finals coming on up next month and with the blood trucking down her arm and tank top, as well as the holidays but Lucy didn't ask for an excuse of why she is distracted, she asked for a soldier, an agent. There is no escape route since Deji is on the run toward a supposed California and Natalie is out of the sight with having to deal with Raymond now but their both weak, unarmed and tired like can't he just stop? She gets up with one knee, "Truce?"

Raymond laughs, "Wish it were that easy, dont ya?" He doesn't give her a chance to respond before he's up and running again, one hand on his side and one reaching forward for something, he was free falling off the rooftop and without a doubt, following him Like a complete idiot she might add. Because of course the rooftop was so low that it could have just been one story and reaching the cement instead. Okay, okay, she's exaggerating, but, it was a low building for sure but so low that she barley even caught herself in time making her barely catching herself. Her hands held onto the rooftop railing but felt a tug at her hands to see Raymond and his fat, prideful ugly face smirking down at her, "Oops," he says through a mirthful chuckle before stomping hard enough on the fingers that were so desperately holding on slipped off, she couldn't risk revealing her alien side to a complete stranger at all so she let herself fall, and she heard someone screaming unless that were her Maybe, about

twenty feet? Thirty feet? Her left hand and half of her body hit a huge green box, maybe seven feet long that she sees in seconds before she impacts with it and then something else, dull and lumpy objects underneath her back and her vision is thrown up of looking up to the sky with some clouds and the brick wall of the building she just fell off of. Fucking bastard......fuck my life, she repeated in her head before she could even move and roll onto her side, her chest felt like it was on fire but she couldn't hold back the gasp while looking down and up the alleyway to see Raymond laying on his side as well a few feet away and she crawled with hoisting her elbows to pull herself to him while rolling him over and hooking his jacket up to grab the gun and crawl back to her spot, sitting on the soggy, crumpled cardboard box pieces. She slumped against the brick wall, tapping her ear piece, "Suspect not in sight, I repeat suspect not in sight. Send the helicopter Director, send A-H 1 Helicopter." "What do you mean he got away?! Go get that son of an bitch, Luthor-Arias!" Her ribs ached, probably bruised or worse broken but it doesn't feel like it but her side hurt when she fell, turning her head to see a huge green garbage dumpster with garbage surrounding it everywhere with flies, her head buzzing. "I can't." She really couldn't, she used the wall to steady herself but it hurt to even standing and she slumped back down, her vision turning blurry but she blinked a few times to see Raymond stirring out of his black out and she clicked the gun on as her startled off her sound echoing the alleyways. Her black jeans were ripped, her hand was bleeding and throbbing the most so maybe a hand fracture? "Luthor-Arias, come in, what did you mean? The helicopter is searching through the air but they don't see you, where is your exact location?" The Director asked again but fuck all these questions were making her head even more while her two shaky fingers were pressed to her ear of hearing more familiar voices speaking but it was too blurry, too slow for her to process "Um....I fell, um," She looked up, seeing snow fall from the clouds of earlier she saw and she put her hand up to feel the wetness on her head of snowflakes. How long has she been sitting here? But she looked up to the building of the brick walls, a few windows further up and from where she was dangling with her pulling Raymond down as well at the last second but she must be in shock right now. "I fell about.....five, six stories, I'm.... I think," She squinted her eyes hard enough to read the sign under the windows, "Behind Joe's Bar in the alleyway, one of the suspects men are with me, I have eyes on him."

"Don't move, we'll be there in a few minutes."

She didn't respond but sighed relieved with her gun trained on Raymond, slumping against the wall again

What a day.

(It werent even three o'clock on Ruby's half broken watch.)

//

3:18 p.m

She's gotta be kidding.

She HAS to be kidding right now, months of preparing of testing Ruby's skills in the trainings room with the Kryptonite sensors built in or not, training in the labs and others but this is different, her niece, her little baby girl, her baby Ruby is barely conscious on the medical bed with a breathing mask over her mouth and a shiner on her left eye along with cuts and dirt everywhere on her face as well They first had to cut off her clothes while coming through way to the DEO in a specific van of an ambulance almost along with another suspect not too far and Ruby's gun or someone's gun in her hands, trained right on him, only dressed in her matching dark blue underwear and socks on while she and another few doctors checking her out.

Three bruised ribs with various colours of blue and purple on her left side of her body (they were currently waiting on to get a few x rays just in case anything else is wrong with her lungs but there's no sign of broken ribs.) A shattered collarbone was the result of a bullet wound, her hand shook of writing it down on the charts of being shot (was the first time and probably won't be the last but it's still scary to see Ruby like this,) a few fractured fingers of when she slipped or fell off the rooftop, jesus her heart dropped out of her chest when Ruby had commed it in. The doctors don't think her pelvis is broken or fractured but it might just be bruised from the fall, jesus falling five stories? Sure she's jumped out of buildings and roofs from a speed chase but never anything like this, being all alone and men twice the size of you?

Yeah she'd be a little scared without any backup if she were that roughed up, looking back to Ruby of her eyes rolling in the back of her head but the EKG monitor didn't spike so she's probably just tired from the adrenaline fading off of her body "Honey, Ruby you have to stay awake for me, okay? We have to do just one more round of x rays on you to make sure." She says loud enough for Ruby to hear who said earlier that she could hear ringing in her ears, starting a morphine line and an IV while brushing the sweaty, bloody hair strands out of her face and Ruby whimpers while her hand comes to shield the light out of her eyes and yep she's definitely having signs of a concussion of sensitivity to light, sound and just downright vulnerable. She sticks the IV in her hand that's not fractured and then the morphine next while flicking the bag impatiently to just start already

"Where does it hurt most? Where does it hurt most sweet girl?" The endearment causing Ruby's eyes to flutter with tears streaming down her face and she brushed her thumb to catch one, leaning down to kiss her head "My chest, um....just, can't you just take it out?" She pleaded, her big hazel eyes staring back up at her with the pupils diliated from the concussion and her hand slapping the bed weakly with her other hand trying to move the neck brace but it's just precaution until they get the x rays done. Alex looks down at her again with a bit lip, they should take the x rays after so she won't be in so much pain to stitch it up after but she's not really allowed to do it since she's a family member but fuck it, her little girl is in pain and she won't sit around to see her in surgery for it to be removed.

The cut where the bruise is around her eye will definetly need some kind of bandage like a butterfly bandage since it's smaller and more closer to her eye that could be a risk of infection to the eye ball from the fresh air out there, Ruby said her head hurts but she has symptoms of a mild concussion so the medicine should be helping right now of her eyes closed and moving around under her eyelids, "Ruby, honey, can you lay still for me to take it out okay? We're going to take a few x rays and then go down to the sunbed, alright?" She informs her while she nods back, tryingto stay awake for just awhile longer

Tweezers, rubbing alcohol, wrapped bandages, thread and cotton balls all placed on the little metal tray table in front of her while slapping the blue plastic gloves on her she has all the requirements to do so while lifting the gauze bandage up for blood and pus to leak out from the wound all around it which is a little infected but there's no sores from the cold weather outside for how long she was out there before she called the DEO. She amped up the morphine because she does not want Ruby to feel this without any higher dosages, mostly because of her addiction from a few months back and Ruby hunger about drug use in Grade 8 but never has really talked about it and she doesn't want to trigger or spike her mental illness and addictions by this.

The twwezers between her three fingers while lifting the guaze up to get a better look is redness irriating around the bullet wound area with blood seeping out as well, shit, she digs the firm pointy edges around and in the little gap of the three inches of the hole what a big bullet if you ask her, and Ruby's natural reflexes fly out while she breathes out hard between her teeth and arches up, digging the little object further in the soft, squishy muscle where he aimed right under her bone but thank god it wasn't on her left side or it would be on the same side as her heart. "Mghnn…." Ruby muffles in the clenched jaws, her pain scattered across her face as her eyes squeezed shut and her neck veins popping out to stay exactly still like she had asked and she feels the little object between the metal pointers and she pulls, carefully but quick enough. Lowering it in the little metal cup while her other hand pushes on her chest for her to relax on the bed while grabbing a different, clean set of tweezers for her to stitch up next

"Good job kiddo, eight stitches for eight spankings for how much an idiot you are for not calling in back up?" She asks, moving the thread around and in snd out of the skin perfectly while she turned the lights back on to see better so she didn't accidentally mess up or poke Ruby with tight and swift stitch work. Ruby laughs, either from the morphine or how true it is, she's mostly like Kara with being the hero of the day

"I literally went to court for domestic and physical abuse."

"I'm pretty rich so I'd win," She winks down at her as she shakes her head reaching behind her to dab the rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball before dabbing it's around the area and then special cream for it heal faster while Ruby jumped of the sensitivity, flicking her forehead to stay still

"Please don't tell Auntie Lena. She'll freak." She whined, resembling Harley when he doesn't get his way to play video games all day with Maggie or being just downright frustrated of having a long day at school with no nap while being wheeled back to the med bay by Alex, there's nothing else wrong with her, no spinal or neck bones fractured or broken, nothing wrong with her lungs either by the impact but a black splint for her broken hand and neither her hips are broken or shattered which is good and lucky, but she'll definitely be sore for a couple of days. Alex looked down at her for a sign she's kidding and an eyebrow raised "Oh let's see, we just tried for you to use the sun bed but your body is so weak and sore that we can't which means your powers won't be back for a couple more days. You solar flared. You walk funny because of your bruised ribs snd that black shiner of yours? Cute, very cute." Her two fingers started unstrapping the neck brace for her to breathe a little bit more but to be extra careful for her heck because those braces are bulky and heavy if not needed while stopping to pinch her cheek making her blush and sigh, nodding

She slips off the bed edge, taking her shoes on the other chair beside her bed while unhooking the IV out of her hand with a hiss of pain and wet socks but slipping them on quickly, looking back to where her Aunt is turned around on writing reports and her chart probably, it's almost four o'clock so Aunt Maggie should be calling her any second. It's not necessarily a hard thing for her to do; sneaking out. She's done it since grade eight in her Metropolis house and then in her Mother's house here in National City but this time isn't exactly easy in a top high government facility with her Uncle Winn and Aunt Erin on desk duty and the comms and Grandpa J'onn all working at the same time today but she snuck out a two story high window for some girl she met a party and fell for, hard. She's got this. "Oh hey babe! Yeah, she seems to be okay, she'll recover in a week or so. Well, what do YOU want for dinner? No, I don't want pizza we had that the other night-" She makes a run for it, taking a left, going down a familiar hall and checking both ways for any agents before she's dashing down the steps wirh her ribs soaring with pain but it wasn't as much as she expected

"Hold it right there, young lady!" Damn, she thought she was fast enough, looking over her shoulder to see her Aunt Alex with she chart and phone still in her hand and one perched on her hip with a questionable eyebrow raised once again clearly not looking impressed of her attempt to make a run for it or how far she got it and she she sighs. Bummer. She's lead to an interrogation room of her Grandpa J'onn, Lucy snd her Uncle Winn showing all the information they know on Raymond, Deji and another question mark filled of one of Deji's bodyguards that are actually Natalie and she sits beside Aunt Alex, hand intertwined with hers Her Mother and Aunts are called but she'll probably be home already after this of getting a ride from her Aunt Alex or Aunt Erin though her motorcycle is here anyway, she starts talking about what exactly happened of knocking out the two men in the mall hallway, one on the rooftops and Raymond is in their custody of the DEO while Deji and another is still on the run, she explains her version of the story that adds up to Raymond's before Lucy butts in after writing her own notes down

"Where you're at right now, is that all I want to say is that you bring a soldier, your Aunt knows what Gerald Raymond said, your Grandpa knows, he knows the whole story already, you just have to confess up, kid." She clasps her hands together quietly on the table with ehr famous tablet beside her with a pen that alerts her of any alien attacks, messages or calls coming in from anyone and her voice is gruff, rough and sounding like a real bully but she's been at the DEO for like, ever. Well, working at the DEO since ever running it alongside her Grandpa and going back and forth with active military duty are she broke up with her Uncle James, (it still is so weird how her Aunt Lucy, Kara and Lena all dated the same guy, her Uncle James Olsen. That's just.....ew.) But she had this conversation before with Lucy and J'onn but she usually blocked the words out, grumbling under her breath of what a-know-it-all she is

"As a DEO Director snd teacher in in your training sessions, I ask you to remember our talks, our meetings, our training sessions with everyone else in your class, I know how mcuh you want this DEO certificate and badge but the world isn't about you. It doesn't resolve around you, it just doesn't and it's a reality check that _you_ need to learn. _Fast_. To be a DEO Agent you have to be ready for anything, what if a enemy had a gun to your little brother's head, would you kill him first? Hurt him for Quinn?" Lucy asks, getting up and coming around the table and leaning on the table a few feet away from her but close enough and her grip tightens on her Aunt's hand, breathing hard, she doesn't care who you are whoever talks or tried to rile her up of Quinn being hurt? You wish you didn't.

"Love is weakness. Love is a _distraction_ in the field, it's a getaway out of the real world out there with bad people, guns, money, and people like _Natalie_ that distract _you_ , when you're out there." She whips her head up probably stirring her headache on while her jaw clenches and her Aunt's own grip tightens

"How did you-"

"We know everthing, Ruby. Your relationship and feelings for Natalie isn't....safe, for the DEO, you shouldn't work at the DEO ig you can't act that she's not your girlfriend, not your partner. Your Aunt right beside you gets up every morning to put on a mask if she works with Maggie, she doesn't act like she's a girlfriend in front of Maggie's colleagues, she knows that there's a line to cross and not cross. They've done _dozens_ of missions together alongside the NCPD Science Division officers but they don't act like a couple on the job." She does a hand gesture to explain all that while biting the inside of her cheek to not scream at her right now while she can practically taste the irritation and embarrassment on her Aunt's face towards Lucy but she also knows that she can't say anything. A respect thing but Lucy was her Mother's Girlfriend before a teacher, a DEO Director as well

"What are you trying to act right now, my Mother? _No_ , you aren't. You aren't my Step Mom, my Adopted Mom, not anything because you didn't do shit for me when she was beating me, kicking me half to death with broken ribs and a broken heart, _you_ were always there watching, lying in court. Alex, Lena and Kara are a better Mother than you _two_ combined," It's the wrong answer for Lucy as she is starting to get irritated too, crossing her arms while her Grandpa gets up too, disappointed clearly of her but she couldn't care less, it's either the concussion messing with her brain or the medicine kicking in to make her so.....confident

" _Love_ is a distraction, a _weakness_! You're costed us a very, very dangerous human being walking the streets in a supposed California like you said and that's now out of our jurisdiction, because of _you_." She stands with unlinking her fingers out of her Aunt's hand while her teeth click together in a grimace, Lucy points a finger at her and staring her down like defending her Mother, defending a sick, sick monster and she cant help the growl leaving her throat.

"I am _MORE_ than capable of separating feelings from _DUTY_!" She yells, hard and loud as well as her chest rhat she feels that's pounding out of her chest with every breath she sucks in, her teeth bared to Lucy who took a step back of the volume of her words while her Aunt Alex turns to step to her. She's never yelled, she's never even raised her voice at her Aunts when she was feeling particularly moody on her menstrual period cycle or never, ever at Natalie and her fists are shaking by her side to not lash out, she had a gun in her hands, a knife, fists clenched to hurt someone, physically give someone pain because Lucy asked her to? On a mission? Is it even worth it? There's too much feelings, too much thoughts, too much everything and she can't do anything but back out of the room with each step before full on running

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She chanted, she forgot she didn't have her powers to fly herself home while running out of the building to the fresh bowing wind and sun peeking out of the clouds by now but she looks to the parking lot, ah there she is. A 1998 Harley Davidson Motorcycle that she had worked on all summer with Natalie as a stress reliever from the court trials before she actually bought a little lot as a garage called "Arias-Gortman" that they opened up, fixing up bikes, cars and trucks this past six months. She has her driving license and new driver certificate in her name so she's legally allowed to drive and thank the sweet heavens that the keys are in the little glove compartment before she snaps her button up helmet strap before kicking the gas and starting off towards home

Her Apple Watch has a huge crack in the middle of it probably dented from the fall and she doesn't know where her phone is, in that little cold dark alley or in the DEO locker room but she doesn't care, blasting a random Spotify playlist in the helmet speakers while her leg shakes to keep upright while waiting at a red light, trying to think what Natalie was thinking. Sure, she's been busy with her own school work and studying her classroom homework because she can NOT mess up this year, no fights, no nothing. She also really wants to do this DEO thing as long as she can before attending College or University but today might have changed her mind but maybe she's right, her and Natalies last alone time together to hang out was at a restaurant, a nice fancy restaurant and she felt like a complete dick for just leaving her there but the Arias-Gortman Garage has been doing amazing the last few weeks since they only work on Wednesdays, Friday's and the weekend but Her Aunt Lena is still confused of wanting a garage and not.....anything else?

But she wants to be a teenager, make mistakes, fix old cars on weekends to sell it for half the price someone thought it was to just be a good person, go bunjee jumping or swimming with shakes in Hawaii like she's always dreamed of, kissing Natalie for a New Year's Kiss since they didn't have the chance to last year. The world is so big, so beautiful, so amazing and she's so....not, feeling a little tender at heart or maybe it's her ribs hurting again, her leg aches at another red stop light before she's zooming faster, tuning into the suburbs, taking a left on Pinewood Street and where the house is. It's not particularly huge like other mansions, Like Natalie's house but it's not small either, five bedrooms upstairs and she has the second biggest one? Hell yeah. Her face is scanned with the little scanner psd before typing in the password on the brick fence does open thankfully even with the grime and dirt on her finger and she parks it in the designated spot in the garage and slipping her helmet off but she can't catch it fast enough

_Crack_! She looks down to the helmet beside them stood up motorcycle with the leg pedal keeping it up and keys in her hand and she feels tears sting her eyes, picking it up with a hand while glass falls out of it and a huge dent in the middle of the helmet eye sight while opening the door that opens into the kitchen room. It's sort of weird how the garage opens up at like that into the kitchen but hey, it's pretty big and she puts the helmet on the island counter, scratching Streaky's head, "Hey buddy. Hi, buddy, how are you?" She coos while the cat meows back before she goes into the main hallway and slipping her boots off on the shoe rack

_Squish, squish, squish, squish._ Her soaking wet socks squeak while walking up the staircase and she winces, she hates the cold feeling, going up the steps through gritted teeth while gripping onto the stairwell while feeling pain shoot up her side but she powers down the hallway and to her room at the end on the left. Stripping everything that's wet and cold while tossing it into her hamper, along with her under wear even snd along with her leather jacket that smells like a weird, strong scent until she realizes its gunpowder and smell of the steel bullets and soaked with blood that drips down the left sleeve and zipper. It leaves a trial of blood to her room and then to the door that joins her and the toddler's room together in the huge bathroom they share with blood and mud dripping on the white marble floor and she knows her Aunt Lena will be pissed about that.

"I feel like an 86 year old grandmother," She whimpers to herself while pulling the shirt over her head from her sore collarbone with a plain white tank top with Hello Kitty on it and slipping on grey sweatpants with weak, nimble fingers stained with blood and dirt everywhere andlittle scratches on her knuckles

_You're a killer,_ one of the voice says in her head she groans from the headache pounding on the top of her skull already while having to deal with her anxiety before wiping a tissue with her foot on the floor that soaked with blood almost immediately but it's somewhat clean. She hears something in the house move and she stills, freezing that Deji found her, he found her house, he did, and she opens the drawer beside her bed pulling the 5" dagger that her Aunt Alex gave her for "extra protection" and she grips it right, taking the plastic cover off the sharp end and making her way down the stairs.

"Ruby? Are you here, sweetie?!" The voice startled her but her heart relaxed of seeing her Aunt Lena at the bottom of the stairs, her long straight black hair matching her dark purpled lipstick with a white button up tucked into long black slacks and a Gucci Bag in her hand as well as a gun of her own, and shit. She owns a gun of her own? She's not visible to her Aunt from the hallway light off as she tries to go back to her room

Don't turn around, don't turn around, don't turn around-

"Ruby Gisele Luthor-Arias, look at me." Well shit, her full legal name is never, ever a good thing or they tease her about since she hates her middle name but she walks to the top of the stairs to stare back down at her with putting the plastic safety back on the sharp end for safety measures and holding onto the railing for support.

Concerned, loving eyes green eyes tracking her every move while she stands on the last step of the staircase and coming up towards her for a bette look; the white part of her eye widens so much that their probably more visible than her green irises and her very, very expensive bag drops on the floor while both her hands come to cup her face but a gentle, feather light finger traces the bruise around her eye that it's so bad she can only see out of one eye, wincing at how she looks and she looks like she's about to cry all in one. "Don't ever, ever scare me like that again, do you hear me? We were scared shitless, young lady, we didn't know where you were or when you were going to come back and the motorcycle was gone as well as Lucy leaving home early and-"

She holds up her own hand to hold onto her Aunt's to stop the rambling and her other pulls her knife on the table and the small hand gun, "I'm okay, Auntie. I promise you, I fell....well, okay so I was on a run for a suspect but they didn't send a backup agent because they thought I could do it but.....they're still looking for him. I fell about, four, five stories down after chasing him but I couldn't get bsck up on that one," She scoffs into a laugh, shaking her head while looking at her grey, soaked socks and her Aunt's red painted toes sticking out of the heels, "A couple of broken fingers, theres nothing wrong with my wrist though, I'm wearing a splint for that," She brings her other hand up to wiggle the hand that's wearing it, "But yeah, I'm otherwise okay." She shrugs, wincing to forget about her collarbone healing and her Aunt moves out of arms length to just stare at her before she's realizing she's using her ray vision to make sure she's not lying or missing anything.

Pulling her gently down the step off the staircase and wrapping her arms around her Her fingers hold on tight to the button up shirt tjat her fingers start to ache of the fingers straining to keep place, not realizing how long and exhaustingly painful it's been on the side but it's probably the adrenaline wearing off and the headache settling in. They stay like that for a few more minutes of a bubble of comfort and warmth towards them after the chaos of the storm and a kiss is placed on her head, twice, three times before untangling their arms back and her Aunt wiped under her eyelid,

"That splint isn't going to do anything for you, I'll wrap your hand myself. And your eye is fine right, your eyes ball or pupil doesn't have any other extensive damage or an orbit fracture right?"

"No. But Aunt Alex said I should ice it every few hours or so and that I should have my powers bsck in try next few days since my body was too weak to even cooperate with the sun bed," She explains, her Aunt putting the weapons in the drawer before tapping the little button and hearing a little click to lock it and trying to remember the important information through her foggy brain

"Is that normal?" Her Aunt asks back, frowning a little before untucking her shirt and popping one of the buttons off before tugging an elastic around her hair into a messy bun, pulling her hand with her towards the kitchen when she shrugs back, wincing again of her shoulder 

Being tugged into the kitchen while being sit gently because of her ribs at the island counter on one of the spinning chairs while she gets the huge red medical bag from the cabinet, an ice pack and a dishcloth to wrap it in so it's not too cold before placing it all on the counter and picking up her phone. "I'm going to kill your Aunt Alex, I don't care if she's my sister or not."

"It wasn't her fault! Be mad at Lucy, be mad at Lucy, please, please, Auntie Alec didn't do anything and thank her for working today instead of she'll be freaking out right now," Her outer lip sticks out resembling a puppy or hoping she does while her Aunt keeps her gaze steady wirh her thumb hovering over the screen to tap the screen or not but it rings by itself before she even gets a chance to decide

"Ah, speaking of the devil." She holds up the phone for her to see that reads " ** _Alex❤️🖤🖕🏻"_** on the caller ID name and she groans, closing her eyes

"Hey, Lena! Um, so I was sort of wondering if you've seen or heard of Ruby in the past hour or so? Any calls, texts, just wondering, you know." She sounds nervous, scared of a newbie agent and a patient going missing at the DEO is never a good sign, a code yellow protocol and maybe she should have left a sticky note.........

"Yes I have, Alexandra Caroline Danvers, she beat me home on her motorcycle and can you tell me WHY she looks like she'd been in a gang fight want to explain why?" She puts the phone on speaker with the screen button while unzipping the bag, taking out a thick, long rolled up bandage and then an even bigger one wirh medical tape and little metal clips to keep it still or on

"Look I'm sorry, okay?!? I just freaked out when I was taking her x rays and then seeing if she had ant broken ribs, hips or neck even but I didn't have enough time to even call anyone! I've been freaking the fuck out! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, she doesn't even have to work here or apply again for another mission ever, ever and I swear, I swear, I was just so scared," Her other Aunt's voice goes deeper and watery like she's on the brink of crying but she does Badass-Assisting-Director-Of-The-DEO gets scared? Her Aunt Lena softens this time, stopping while taking off the splint of the snaps and buckles while clearing her own throat to speak and she bites her lip, jesus Christ she scared everyone today

"Alex. Alex, it was a joke; a very bad one on my part in fact and I'm sorry, it was just a joke. She came home and I'm wrapping her hand while she's icing her eye with five minutes on and five minutes off, she's going to be healing." She explains, wrapping the light tanned bandage around her palm while looping it around her wrist but not too tight and they both hear Alex's sob, and then another before she's full out crying and a big lump in her throat forms, (she can't help it, she's a sympathetic crier!) "Alex, honey. Breathe, breathe, she's going to be just fine do you hear me? It was a scare for you, for me, for Kara even for her but she's going to heal. Hell, she's going to be in that small, dusty garage next week lifting tires over her shoulder!" It makes both Aunts chuckle and she smiles too, shaking her head but it's true

She sniffs on the other side before the sound of blowing her nose before it's muffled and hearing her yell out orders before coming back on, "Sorry, I was just really freaked out. I called off the search teams and yellow code protocol."

"I'm sorry Auntie." It's the only thing she can say with tears clouding her eyes and she breathes in deeply to keep it together with her Aunt Lena sticking the medical tape to keep it snug and on and a kiss on top of her knuckles 

"No, no sweet girl, this wasn't your fault at all, we should have sent in backup for you no matter what. And don't listen to Lucy, she's too rough on you especially because of your Mother and being your Step Mom but she's too rough on you. Get some rest, drink some water." They say their goodbyes and love you's before her shoulder is being wrapped this time with cream on it just in case before being carried into the living room and wrapped in a blanket and PeeBee comes walking towards them and cuddling close to her 

"Gentle, PeeBee, gentle kitty." She seems to understand while she curls up right beside her instead and not on her sore, aching body and meowing softly before staring to purr and she sniffs, tears streaming down her face and there's a whoosh of her Aunt Lena coming back in the room from trying to clean up the mess she made upstairs and sitting in front of her again 

"What's wrong, sweetie? What hurts, do you need more medicine?" She asks, her eyebrows scrunching together but she was given two tylenol pills for the pain and the morphine still in her system but it makes her lip wobble and shaking her head again 

"You-you-youre cleaning up all my blood and dirt upstairs because I fell off a fucking building today and, and Auntie Alex called a code yellow for me. ME. You guys care so-so-so much!" She blubbers, bursting into tears again and she moves beside you while you curl into her body and gasping for air, crying all the while too and she shushes you, kissing your head again 

"Ruby, its okay. Hey, hey, it's okay. Your tears and pain and frustration is coming out now because the arrhenius is leaving your body now so you're very, very fragile and you know what? It's okay. I would be crying for morphine and Kara cuddles in the hospital but you're one tough kid, you know?" She kisses your head again and you nod, hearing her talk some more before you're drifting off to sleep with her silky, deep voice and PeeBee's purring beside her // She don't know where she is or what even time it is the first time Ruby wakes up but its dark and quiet, she deeply inhales through her nose while the air gets trapped half way out of her mouth of her ribs aching in pain while her eyelids flutter open a little bit, it's not her own room but it's not a hospital room either so she's happy either way. Her arms are clasped over her head like a baby sleeping and probably half how her ribs ache and she whimpers, "Auntie Lena? Auntie Kara?" A soft touch startled her in the such still room, it were her Aunt's bedroom but the door was closed as well as the huge Master Bedroom on the left side of the room that she's so jealous of and the opening closet on the right side of the bed along with a chair around it but it was just naturally dark with the lights off and the window drapes tied together anyway The soft touch trailed down her wrist all the way to her armpit, one of her most ticklish spots and she grinned with her eyes closed, "Their downstairs, sweet girl, Maggie and I brought some pizza for some dinner and the children are already asleep. Quinn's okay." It's her Aunt Alex this time and she lowers her arms while snuggling closer to the warmer touch and opening her eyes to her. Her Aunt Alex's brown eyes are still brown eyes but she's probably the only one to tell hers and Aunt Maggie's apart, her dark chocolate eyes are bright in the darkness of the room and they crinkle at the corners lightly of smiling lightly with her dark brown, reddish hair around her face and some strands tucked behind her ear, "Hello there," She coos, the soft touch is apparently a soft finger pad that comes to swipe down her nose slope and then pinch her cheek, she still can't see out of one eye and she tries for a smile though it probably looks like a grimace and she lifts her head, hearing a specific sound that she only knows to the huge window but there's nothing but the backyard. Hmm. She swings her legs around the bed edge while her Aunt offers both of her hands for help if she needs it, and she holds onto the wrists to hold herself up and shit, that hurts, tears cloud her eyes but they don't fall and she just holds onto the wrists until she can move her hips and legs on her own and declines hr Aunt's two offers to just carry her down but those stairs do look....challenging "One, two....." She holds onto her Aunt's neck and shoulders before she's lifted so, so gently and her legs around her Aunt's shins and knees before there's movement jostling her every ribs and chest while crying out. God if this is bruised ribs then what would broken ribs feel like? Her nails dig into the skin that she's holding onto so desperately, opening her eyes to see over the shoulder of the staircase, the hallway with PeeBee coming out of the kitchen following them with little meows of her own before the open concept of the living room and the T.V on but so quiet she can barely even hear it as a human. Her Aunt stops walking, almost hovering and she lets out a breath while untangling her legs to touch the carpet on the floor and other pairs of hands pull on her hair to get it out of her face and her shoulders before she's ready to unlock herself from the safe haven and being led to sit down a few feet back and sinking into the couch "Hello there, little one." It's her Aunt Kara this time, no glasses or makeup on and her long, blonde hair down with her light blue eyes soft towards her and then they go a little wide of seeing her face, yeah she'll have to be used to that look. "Jesus, kiddo. Your Aunt Lena wasn't kidding." She sharply inhales while moving her head around to get a better angle at the bruise and she scoffs smiling a little

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried writing this. I did. 
> 
> But really, take care of yourself.


	3. You're Gasoline and I'm the Fire, (let's see what kind of mess we can make)

The Arias House, National City 

July 23rd, 2019

Time on Ruby's Iphone, 11:37 p.m

\--------

as your shadow crosses mine, what it takes to come alive 

it's the way i'm feeling, I just can't deny but I gotta let it go 

we found love in a hopeless place, in a hopeless place 

we stand side by side and i see diamonds flickering in your eyes in the lamppost light 

\--------

SWITCHING POV's BETWEN NATALIE AND RUBY 

//

"Ruby, honey? I'm going to go out for the night with Lucy but I'll probably stay over at her house! Have a good day at school tomorrow and love you!" The loud yelling down the stairs startled her as she dropped the pencil that was between her fingers while finishing the last equation for her Pre-Calculus Summer School Course but those words were what she heard the most the past few weeks and which was......good and bad. 

Her Mother is a simple person, loving her coffee dark just like her soul (it was an always sick, sick inside joke between them since Reign happened earlier this year) prefers red wine than white wine like any other Mom in the whole world but spills it constantly on the and wants to be at work earlier than anyone else so she can get off her shift earlier is which is actually kind of genius. She's not a general engineer or a lab worker like her Aunt Lena that used to spend late, late nights here with working with her Mother of little science experiments and little gadgets for L-Corp's labs but she misses her; the whole Super Family does but her Mother seems to be more special than them 

Okay, okay, she's an asshole for even saying that but hey, we all miss her Aunt Lena but Aunt Kara.....god, she's never seen her cry before, even yell at people before to just leave her alone, but her Mother is somewhat coping, drinking all day and even sometimes at work, started smoking cigarettes again but she's so drunk sometimes that she doesn't know Ruby sneaks some once and awhile but she just wants her to be okay. If her own best friend was kidnapped by a homocidal and crazy xenophobic Mother she would be drinking and smoking as a coping mechanism as well but her Mother still shouldn't drink while going to work like isn't that a felony? Or something? Or like a law breaking? But she hopes that she'll be getting better soon and not go through a bottle every few days and she moves, coming out of her room and yelling back, "Okay, have fun! Love you too!"

The door slams a few seconds later as her exit and she strains her super hearing to hear the lock slip into the jey jab and she runs back into her room, slipping on her light grey ripped and alps tying up her black converse strings while unplugging the phone from the wall and putting all her homework away, one last equation won't hurt. Her black tube top fits under her red and black checkered flannel with her phone, house key and a pack of cigarettes is all in her pockets, switching all the lights in the house and the T.V before crawling out the kitchen window and shutting it quietly but not too much that she can't get back in the house. It's not every time that she jams her finger in the window but she gets lucky this time before double checking the door is locked while running around the house and digging around the garage and....Aha!!

Her skateboard, she put it in there last week for tonight's big day or, night, she should say. It clinks on the sidewalk before she's pushing with one leg and one foot balancing herself and she takes the headphones in her phone while blasting "IDFC" by one of her favourite artists, BlackBear and making her way to Adam. Adam Carr, he's the son of Snapper Carr that works with her Aunt Kara and they've been best friends since Grade Eight when she moved here to National City with her Mother, he doesn't actually want to be a reporter like his Dad but maybe a singer, he likes Drama Class (he and Ruby have the same class in block C) and maybe he'll take singing lessons and have a personal teacher but he's not good at English so she usually does his homework for $15 

They are meeting in a few minutes but does it count that it's early if at eleven p.m at night? She pushes her foot harder on the converse to speed up, strolling down a hill and she sees in the distance of a person leaning against a lamp post and yup, there he is. Skidding to a stop right in front of him and picking up her skateboard by the end to hold it with one hand before they hug, he's not one of those super tall, buff guys in the sport teams at School but she has to reach up to hug him. Kissing her cheek with the soft hairs of his facial hair around his face tickles her cheek, "Hey weirdo. You get out of the house okay?"

Yes of course, no one knows about my abusive Mother leaving the house all day to go drink and i'm scared for her liver. Yes of course. She nods, grinning a little before he stills, blinking once, "You okay?"

"Yeah, just the nerves getting to me."

He laughs, picking up her skateboard before leading them down the left side of the huge sidewalk towards the city, they're actually in the Northern Suburbs where she lives and a few blocks east, "You aren't chickening out are ya? First parties are always nerve-wracking but trust me, you'll fit right in." Pushing her by the shoulder a little bit while he gets a head start on his worn skateboard as she laughs her nerves calming down, he asked her to come as a plus one at a party, specifically Tyler Bell'd party. But do you know who Tyler Bell is? One of the most coolest, popular guy in the whole Highschool, St. Lawson Highschool and he has a popular, rich family as well as theirs, he's a pretty funny guy and an overall nice one but they've only ever talked a few times, calling him a friend even but his parties are......legendary. She's going to grade Eleven in September less than four months now and he'll be a full blown senior by then but one of the most popular kid's party invite? Sign her the fuck up 

Plus, there's beer in red solo cups, a couple of ping pong tables and loud, raving music that shakes up the whole block probably and just like in the movies or so other kids say that have been to his parties, including Adam. She laughs, catching up to him and no they're not a couple just platonic, Adam had recently came out gay in April with his own boyfriend, Micheal and she....well, she doesn't really know what she is yet 

"Well, here we are." It's definitely a place for a party with she cannot hear the music even out here with tons of bikes, cars and skateboards our on the sidewalks and lawn with silly sting, toilet paper and others on the lawn along with people out on the deck as well talking and laughing along together and okay, you got this Arias. She slows down, picking up her skateboard with one hand to tuck it under her armpit while smiling to some people and stepping inside the door

//

12:48 a.m

I shouldn't be here.

I'm not even sure that I belong here, at this party, yeah yeah one of Tyler Bell's famous parties that everyone raves about but honestly? It's not that cool, she's been to a couple but this might be the worst one yet, the Fancy Galas that she's supposed to attend with the whole Gortman family sometimes, the parties of Xxtra Doll's in New York is even worse and a total buzzkill but she would pick that everyday than come here. 

Squeezing through sweaty, moving bodies and following right behind Tanya, her long dark hair swishes past her shoulder with every move she makes. It smells like cheap, dank weed and the faint smellof cocaine in the room and the loud, rattling music vibrates under her converse. The supposed "DJ" starts yelling into the mic of what song tey want next playing before the song, "No Limit" by A$AP Rocky and G-Eazy is blasting through the speakers with everyone start yelling and "hey's" and people start dancing in their own versions before Tanya gives a whoop and putting her red solo cup in the air/ A headache was already forming on the cab drive over of a courtesy of Tanya arriving here a little bit late and her nose itching from the weed and cocaine odour in the air then she'd be pretty amazed if she doesn't throw up all over Tanya 

They make it on the other side of the room where she said some of her friends are all hanging out but damn, no wonder why everyone be loving on tyler Bell, she's pretty sure that last year was all about "Bell Birthdays" is what the news of him having two babies but from two different baby mama's. Crazy, right? He said all the rumours were false but there were also paparazzi pictures of going into a few fertility clinics with a girl probbalt trying to see if their his actual biological children or not, he still insists to hosts these parties but I bet he just wants more baby birthdays popping in and out every year that's all...….These parties don't even promise good enough weed but babies? Damn. She knew she shouldn't have to come to this bunk ass fucking party but following her around has been the plan for the rest of the night since all her friends left drunk to go home

I don't even think I should be here, at this party. Yeah, yeah, one of Tyler Bell's famous ass parties that everyone raves about but honesty? It's not that bougie or cool here,


	4. Post Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: 
> 
> "hihi! can we get a chapter about Ruby's experience after she came back from New York, like the huge solo mission you did on the work Unbroken? Pretty please??"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes You may! I world love to and I hope this covers it. Natalie isn't in this chapter but next chapter!!

Main DEO Headquarters, National City 

Time on Ruby's Shattered Glass Iphone: 9:42 a.m

-

oh Father, tell me, we get what we deserve 

oh we get, what we deserve, way down we go.....

woah, you let your feet run wild 

time has beat you,

but for the fall, 

do you dare to look them in eye? 

-

//

Everyone was happy for her to come back, all the DEO agents and workers lined up into two lines to shake ehr hand for her bravery, for her "fast thinking" and courage, even, fucking courage one of the agents had told her, courage, thank you, for saving us. All of them were praising her as a thank you and shaking hands and practically high fiving each other everywhere in the halls and she smiled back, even with a broken kneecap and fractured hand that she kept close to her chest so it wouldn't hurt anymore than anything, blood dropped down the side of her face down her chin but none said that 

No one commented.

No one told her like "hey, you killed a terrorist group leader to protect the DEO and S.H.I.E.L.D. but hey, you look half broken and bleeding" while she high fives all of them, hugging Agent Twello, her second in command and even a friend to lean on when she first started in the DEO. A friend. Someone to watch her back and for ehr to watch his. Like Sey did.

They all cleared out as she limped to the comm center where Uncle Winn was at his usual desk, Supergirl, her Mother, Sam, J'onn and her Aunt Alex were all at the table crowded around it with half a dozen coffee cups and a huge donut box in the middle all talking but Supergirl noticed her first, barely standing with a stack of papers, her bag full of evidence from S.H.I.E.L.D. to give to the DEO in half of their part as a "good job" and "your welcome". Supergirl's look all made them look up and her chest heaved, she stood right in front of J'onn, squaring her feet from her shoulders, her back painfully straightening 

"Agent Arias, you don't have to-" 

"Director of the DEO, I am, I am filing a secret undercover mission from behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D operation building from Director Nicholas J. Fury, my number is 10382516 and the time the subject was taken care of and contained was...." She thinks back, blinking once to try and think but her brain is fuzzy, "twenty two hours and ten minutes. A fallen agent's funeral is in four days in New York, Matthew," She's bone dead exhausted, physically, physiologically as eyes well of tears of Matthew being dead, taking the bullet for her, "Matthew Sey. Here is the evidence."

Her hand is shaking to give it to him and he takes it, his eyes soft for her as a Grandfather but also sharp with him being the Director and of the classified information as well. She squares her shoulders, it snaps in annoyance, her feet are wide and long as well as she pulls her hand up to her eyebrow Lucy, pulling a knee down for her, her good one while Lucy's concerned eyes look down at her. "Major." She gulps, her hand flying down in salute while her head bows for three seconds or more and she stands again, Lucy's hand on her shoulder 

"Good work, Agent. Rest up and go to the medbay to get your injuries checked out before you leave the premises."

She nods, putting the bag down that was zip locked into baggies of all the stuff she used on the mission, her clothes bagged, the broken phone she stepped on to not make a lead, Sey's necklace and rings are in her pocket and she keeps the stands before Alex can give her the okay since she's her supervisor. Alex holds her gaze and she's heaving but keeps the stance, "Go to the medbay, Arias. I'll come in a few minutes." 

"What- no. Alex, we need to talk to her about what happened." Both Supergirl and Her Mom says at the same time. Ah shit. 

"It's none of your concern, Supergirl. And Sam, you saw what happened, there's no time to dwell on it."

"No. She's my daughter, hell I am not going to let this go- Ruby, come here." Her Mom barks while pointing to the floor in front of her and she clenches her jaw, not knowing who to trust or not trust but she stands in front of her, those brown eyes looking so sad, so....disappointed in her. She knows they all are, she went rogue and on her own and she got hurt, got her second killed but she also completed the mission, whether it was J'onn or Fury who asked her to, personally. 

"Ruby, this isn't how we operate here in the DEO, we don't kill." Supergirl speaks first, voice clear as crystal and hands crossing over her chest while her eyebrows raise in question when she doesn't answer. Like she hasn't heard that before. 

"I'm pretty sure that the DEO didnt ask me to, S.H.I.E.L.D. did, Supergirl. Get off my back, you aren't my boss."

She goes to wipe the blood off of her cheek that dropped down from her still slit eyebrow but her Mother is faster, snatching the wrist between her boulder breakable, strong, fingers and she cries out, her other hand pushing on her shoulder to let go, it hurts- "Why the fuck did you do that? Why the fuck didn't you tell us where you were going, Lillian could have caught you if she knew you were on the run, she could have kidnapped you like Lena!" She knows she freaked everyone out, especially her Mother, she knows she has her own trauma with being abandoned of Lena leaving, her bestfriend, her work colleague when they came to National City and the whole Worldkiller happened but she scared her Mother this time. 

She knows she did. 

"Sam, let go, you're hurting her-"

She loves her Aunt Lena trying to help or stick up for her but Supergirl blocks her with a hand in front of her, but you do not want to get in the way of Lena Luthor. Her Mother's grip is stronger and she cries out, shoving her back with any strength she has left and she stumbles back into Lucy, "Because I had to protect you! Do you know what it's like to kill someone? With you bare hands, no mercy, no fucking backup? Huh?"

"Yeah, I hurt a lot of people with Reign, Ruby you know this-"

"That was a subconscious state, you don't remember that shit." She holds her wrist with her other hand, a tear down her face and Lena pushes Supergirl out of the way, her other hand clicking the bracelet off and Supergirl moves, coming to pull Lena back by the elbow 

"Don't touch me, Supergirl." She growls, looking back at her and Alex 

"No, you don't remember, because I do. My friend is dead and I killed someone to protect all of you. He had seven billion dollars on Lena's head, four million on yours, knowing you were Reign and four billion on Natasha Romanoff's head." It goes dead silent at that of Supergirl stopping, J'onn looking to Lucy before he starts digging in all the different confidential bags for the USB, Steve already copied it on a different one so they all have one each just in case one loses it. "But you wouldn't understand because you think your safe, bodyguards, changing your phone number every six months.....you are now. Because of me."

//

Dr. Hamilton meets her in the meds at as she pops her knee cap back in the right spot as it has a black blocky brace on her knee - leg - " just for a week or two sweetie, I don't want it to misplace itself again but your powers should come back in a few days,", her hand is definitely broken but she says no to a cast. So a black sprint is being moulded for her hand as they went for x rays, it's definitely a fracture but there's nothing else wrong with it for future reference or if anything does happen to her. The x rays hurt the most to keep still, they did do a few little tests but her fingers couldn't grip anything or hold anything, so that explained it 

Her eye, it's nicked on the top with a little bitterly strip bandage over it, anything lower she could have lost her eye, the swelling will go down but all the blood will rush down on her eye and she might have a black eye for the next few days. So that's fun. Her cheek is fine but she looks like a ghost, didn't eat or drink water for over twenty four hours except that milkshake Letty ordered for her. Oh and she has a ride from the Quinjet to gat here before ten o'clock and for them to file her as a missing person, - thank god she made it on time with a few minutes to spare - and she got to keep the car as a gift of staying alive 

(She doesn't know if Letty was joking about it or not.) 

(Probably wasn't joking.) 

The shower did do wonders for her though - it's not reallt pretty see her feet pooled with blood water going down the drain, the cuts on her hand, back and practical body all rushed down, the bruise on her side and ribs were definitely helped by the hot water and steam as their not even bruises anymore, just pink a little. It hurt to wash her own hair with her arms above her head, definitely a symptom of fatigue and part of the "mild" concussion she has going on. - But it hurt a lot more with putting her clothes back on, forgetting the splint for her hand tossed in her backpack, she wraps both hands looking like a boxer, hair down and curly from the shower as well as her leg still limping but the brace supporting its own weight up 

"Okay you're cleared to go, I do want you to have bed rest today but I doubt you'll listen to me." Dr. Hamilton teases lightly, going easy on her today by the looks of her and not wanting to know what happened emotionally and she cracks a grin, because it's true. She still has about four hours left until school happens and she'll have to make some lousy excuse to the secretary of yesterday and this morning of why she missed school. Slipping her shoes on is tough too on her hands but she makes it, slinging the bag over her shoulder, mustering all the "courage" she has while taking the elevator again 

"Wow, only more than half an hour to stay? World record." J'onn teases, they're all still here, her Mother and Lucy are gone from the table though, probably yelling at each other in her office and she grins. 

"I have school, so."

"School? Ruby, I think you need to stay for rest." Supergirl says this time and there's an apology in her eyes and she shakes her head, smiling this time 

"I could fall off of buildings all day and go to school. Gotta graduate."

"Come on, Ill give you a ride." Aunt Lena suggests. 

"I have my own car now."

"Call it a thank you." She's already kissing Supergirl in front of everyone, not caring a single one in the world and she's kissed on the cheek by Grandpa J'onn and she's half hugged by her Aunt, going down the elevator. There's still a lot of work to be done, there's going to be a lot of talking, probably a therapist session with Natalie and a few days or even a week from the DEO but she's here. She'll go to Matthew Sey's funeral, pay her respects and cherish him as a friend and protecter who didn't make it to the end to see that everyone is safe, happy and.....okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like???? *Wags tail*


	5. Nothing Without You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I needed some it with Natalie and Ruby. I really did. Sorry not sorry but after reading this, go read the new chapter on Unbroken, itll all make sense okay? okay! love u!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light bondage, Teasing, Pussy slapping (and no animal cruelty involved) ripping clothes, and nipple play. 
> 
> In the later chapter, there's descriptions of bruising scratching and hitting and wreckage of walls.

Supercorp House, National City

January 4th, 2021

Time on Natalie's Watch: 1:39 p.m

-

I'm trying to be honest with my happiness, don't know why I'm bad at this

And I don't want to sit in all of my sadness, I know it's a habit of mine

Last night was the best night of my life from my past

You got me here like, you could never even figure me out

You gave me what I wanted when I needed it

I mean it when I say I could convince myself to feel it, It would feel perfect

You're my future.

-

//

"You can't leave me, okay?! I....I know the DEO is a big part of your life, your family's life and it's your job, b-but, I love you! Please, please, please tell me where you're going next time, please, I sound like a fucking child but I felt like a deep, deep fear in my chest, like real deep, deep fear an-" Natalie breaks down into sobs, one hand clutching their shirt where they could rip it in half, they made their voice hoarse of crying when their parents were told by J'onn, Ruby's Grandpa, that she went missing snd they had no lead and "possible suspect is Lillian Luthor-" Had scared the shit out of them, throwing up for an hour straight, they had the flu bug but that was out of shock and terror of Ruby missing, a sleepless night of smoking out of their window

Ruby practically picks them up sideways, sitting on the couch of Lena and Kara's - it'll be Danvers-Luthor since everyone knows how much Lena hates her last name is Luthor, it's a known fact even from her telling Natalie that themselves and well....the whole world knows how much of a great Mother Lillian Luthor is from kidnapping Lena in the first place so....- They feel like a newborn again, though they could go back into their own memories by their telepathic abilities to look of what being born was like....yeah, not happening, Their fists clenching Ruby's shirt for her to never go away again - not on some rogue mission - it smells like cinnamon and cigarettes all in one.

They open their eyes full of tears, of Ruby's brown eyes filled with her own

No.

No way.

But they're mad. Oh bet their ass they are. Mad isn't even a word to describe their emotion right now, what they're feeling right now, hot freaking lava mad, tsunami Earth breaking mad, they-fucking-their-girlfriend-but-also-hate-what-she-does-for-a-living-as-a-top-secret-agent-at-the-only-age-of-eighteen. Yeah, they're that mad, they're not kidding around. They're fucking furious because of Ruby's family - The Danvers, The Lane's, The Olsen's - they all love her and she's trying to be the stupid hero of the day to want all their attention, wanting to be looked at of a "hero", of some sick person to lie to them constantly of where she is, missing school, missing their date nights, all because of some fucking mission.

They scramble up, pushing themselves off of her and the couch cushions, tears rolling down their cheeks and Ruby has never looked so....confused.

They're still mad even after a full month happened - they never got the chance because Ruby birthday's party was the next week and then the holiday season started rolling around and they had their own family dinners and expensive parties to attend around the world. So they couldn't be mad at Ruby. And both teenagers were practising for the huge song at the New Years Party for Lena, needing to ace that song and then Ruby was drunk, they were annoyed she was drunk because they wouldn't kiss Ruby to taste the liquor, sweet, tangy liquor on her lips or they would break their sixty seven day sober streak.

Of alcohol.

But they weren't angry with Ruby when J'onn and Alex explained that Ruby took one of the biggest torrorist group leaders down by herself, her partner was killed in the middle of all of it, taking a hit for Ruby - they want to thank him for that - like they weren't mad when she put a bullet in the supposed same guy they were working for, Ryan Deji. They could care less, like that's her job. Duh.

(They would be concerned with what her job contract says in the records if she didn't kill.)

"No! No, you do _NOT_ get to break me into some weak little thing, something fragile and weak, I'm allowed to be. You don't get to leave the city, on some wild goose chase with your head chopped off to find the man who broke your Aunt L-Lena! I know Lena deserves the world, even more after what her Mom did, but, I think you're a fucking _child_!" They yell, hiccuping between words, "You don't get t-to break me and then try and put the pieces back together when _you_ feel like it." Their voice shakes, it hasn't been very strong since they got here with a ride with their Mom, who they've been leaning onto for this, they didn't think Ruby deserved the argument, the worth to fight. Because they didn't feel like they worth to Ruby for....awhile.

They still don't.

But Natalie Madison Gortman is human.

They aren't some emotionless person they were made into on the streets with no food, no water, no place to sleep sometimes but in parks and alleys, that sounds like bullshit to NOT have emotions. They get mad at things like this. They cry on their period because those emotional hormones are released. They laugh at their little sister, Ashley's jokes at the diner table because the eight year old swears like a sailor and dances like a donkey. They break down. They're half alien and half human.

Ruby flinches at that but they're don't feel sorry. They feel like they've been beaten up by Ruby's acts of the past month towards them, cold glares, never calling back to meet up for lunch at school snd they see her at the cafeteria, headphones in her ear and eating her own lunch. And not looking welcoming.

i So yeah, it feels like they've been slapped so they don't feel sorry for her right now, she fidgets with her hands. There's rings in almost every finger, she wants a tattoo on her hand when she's old enough though she is - Eighteen - her feet shuffling and maybe Ruby will lose it too, her fire powers making her socks flame into red blocks and melt into the floor. They want to laugh, not to actually hurt Ruby's feelings but enough because they know Ruby has since she came back from New York.

But all relationships and couples fight. They sort of want Ruby to lose it so they don't feel as bad later when they're trying to sleep.

"You're right."

_Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh_ -

"Bullshit." They scoff.

"Sit, sit with me." She offers, Ruby is crying now too, eyelashes wet with tears and cheeks red with very sucked in breath to calm herself down. But they do, sniffling and hugging themselves since they don't trust Ruby to, her hands fidget with themselves, trying to figure the words out and they raise an eyebrow for her to go one

"You're right. It isn't fair, it isn't even right to you as a....person. And you were a friend first, to me. I'm going good in English but I don't get the extra marks from your help but I can figure out a few words, manipulative, cruel, and....sort of controlling to hold onto your feelings like that when I didn't know mine. I know that, I'm.....I'm not so good at this whole DEO thing. I know you promised to help and support me in anything but this wasn't fair to you, but I'm not good at it." They sort of wish Ruby is okay, is better than they have been the past few weeks of being ignored, being walked by in the halls by Ruby of staring straight forward and the paparazzi photos and headlines like " ** _DID RUBY ARIAS AND NATALIE GORTMAN BREAK UP?"_** and " _ **GORTMAN FAILS AT LOVE - NOT HIGHSCHOOL"**_

Ruby has a little V in between her eyebrows and they shakily raise their thumb, rubbing it away - they always tease her about having wrinkles before the age of twenty - Ruby swallows at that but looks up to them, maybe she just had a rough go after the....well, the killing. "But I'm getting knocked down, over and over. Aunt Lena is trying to get full custody of me and Quinn, Mom wants to move to Washington with Lucy," Okay, wow. _Wow_. "The DEO missions at three in the morning, the new semester classes are beating my ass and.....and I can't lose you. I don't want to lose you."

_You already did_ , they want to say, _you went missing and I didn't know where you were._ "It felt like you just took my heart out, just ripped it out of my fucking chest. You're the only thing I ever _need_ , I guess you gotta let me know if you feel the same way." They swallow, half smiling into a grimace and Ruby's eyes are bloodshot and her lip is trembling. Yeah, they probably look the same.

"I do."

They sniff the air, looking down but up again. A tear dripping off their eyelash. This hurts. It hurts being kicked in the ribs and still loving the person who kicked them. "I don't think you do, Ruby. You can say it, the job is more important than m-me. I knew I wasn't that important to you when you came back from New York."

"No! No- no, that's not true."

"I know what's it like to be left behind. I know what it's like to be kicked in the cold at _four_ years old and being _homeless_ for the next decade. I know what it's like to not be _wanted_ anymore." They're full out sobbing once they stop talking, chest heaving to not hyperventilate right here and Ruby looks disgusted with herself, looking downright beautiful with her brown hair in a bun, tears dripping down and her lips pink and puffy.

But they know the feeling all too well and they're hurt, they feel like their heart was ripped out of their chest of seeing the dark, soulless eyes staring at her across the cafeteria, not welcoming or happy. They wished they just went up to her and screamed at her for leaving, why are you leaving me, why don't you rip the band aid off and just break up with me so I don't hurt my head at night of overthinking

"I'm sorry. I am, please, please, _please_ , believe me, I am, I am, I don't, I never meant to hurt you, I- please, I love you. I love you more than _anything_ else."

They sigh, time suspending in the air. _Is it worth it? Will they be worth it to Ruby? Are.....are they worth it for her who has a million things on her plate already and they'll be a burden to Ruby Arias?_

"You _cannot_ do that to me again. You don't _get_ to do _that_ , I will leave you to stick up for myself. Saying and proving something is different." They sigh out, leaning against the couch cushions, exhausted of going around and around the past hour with Ruby.

"I'll do anything, _anything_. I'm off this week anyway, we, I, anything to show you that I'm still in love with you." Ruby says, making their head slowly look up, a little taken back of that - loving someone and being in love with someone is different, two different things. Two completely things. - but Ruby nods, looking sure and confident. And capable of loving them even when she doesn't have time off. Her brown eyes are still wet and broken but they nod, inching closer and she does too. Their foreheads rest against each other, breathing, just staying still for this time.

"Want to come to my house?"

They grin back.

//

Time on Ruby's Iphone: 4:01 p.m

"This looks.....like a homelessness camp, Ruby." Natalie chuckles while walking into the apartment; the kitchen is on the very close left while walking down the hallway from the door, an island with three who tree leather chairs for it while there's no wall separating it from the living room. Huge, actually. There's glass windows filling the last wall but there's....like, no furniture.

There's plastic sheets covering the walls taped to the wall still, the dust is around the plastic and floor with a single mattress on the floor and a long glass low coffee table with a cigarette box, a lighter and a half opened bottle of water on the table and a few suitcases everywhere but clothes are everywhere in the room

Jesus.

"Ruby I've had better experiences living out on streets than....this." They take off their backpack, and put it on the kitchen counter - at least that is clean - Ruby scoffs in response, poking them in the stomach and they lean on their heels for show. She digs in the refrigerator, taking out two Pepsi sofa cans under the other shelf inside, an apple while she takes a bite out of it, slipping her socks off and flinging shoes off her heels while walking to the.....supposed living room.

Natalie stands and she puts the sofa cans down while wiggling her eyebrows as a welcoming for them. Sighing, they unzip their boots on the side, their socks pulled off by thumb and forefingers, sitting down beside her on the mattress, it's thick and definitely a mattress for a bigger bed They hear noise, looking up and across the room is a flat screen plasma TV screen, huge even, mounted to the wall and some sort of gambling show is playing with Ruby leaning against the wall behind them, chewing on her fruit.

"You have a freaking TV but no furniture?!" Ruby tosses them the can into their fingers,

"Uh....I suppose. Look, not all us has time to buy some from Ikea and shit, I'll do it tomorrow."

"What about school?"

"I did all my tests today instead and already received my homework from my home room teacher and the secretary."

"Same. I wasn't going to go tomorrow, the garage is backed up with a tow truck and-"

"A tow truck- when- does our garage even have space to fit a tow truck in?"

They slowly blink. "Um, yeah, I made repairs for the garage to be taller which....I didn't tell you about. Um. Sorry?"

"No!" She puts her apple down on the table, their pop can as their hand freezes in the air, "No, I'm sorry I wasn't there. But shh, no more talking." She whispers while her legs straddle their chest, back curved up like a bow and they raise an eyebrow, running their hands up Ruby's arms that is only wearing a black tank top and they can see her bra strap showing, dark red with lace.

Damn.

Ruby smirks, leaning down to kiss their lips Ruby must think so when the kiss....well the kiss doesn't start at all really with Natalie swallowing - not knowing whether to or not, not seeing if Ruby is up for it or not but does - until Natalie does inhale through their nose to not break the kiss, hands pulling Ruby forward, both hands holding the side of her face. She presses harder, it's almost painful with lips in the way of two sets of teeth but Natalie pulls back, panting and pulling on her bottom lip this time and letting it go with a _pop!_ and damn, _okay_.

They aren't playing around. She missed Natalie, they all have different schedules now since the new school semester started a few days ago, they're both at the garage shop more often but never at the same time to catch up on what to do and work on, Natalie is into fashion design classes at school and she's working harder on her own singing classes (At the New Years Party, that was like.....the best thing she ever did. Singing, she means. It was scary as fuck but awesome.) "Shhh....stop thinking." Natalie whispered, their breath tickling her ear and it sends shivers down her spine, shaking a little in their lap

That does sound like a good idea to her though, she leans against them for support for getting more air into her lungs while a hand taps at her hip where her tank top ends. "Can I.....Can I take this off? On-only if you're comfortable, I won't, I won't do anything you don't want to." Natalie reassures her, softness coasted on their face, doing the little eyebrow worry thing but she can't breathe because they're looking at her like they're in love with her too. So she nods.

Yes, _yes,_ she kisses anything she can reach of Natalie, their chin, their neck, their lips and she hears a _rippppp!_ while freezing and it makes them freeze too. Natalie holds up the ripped tank top in their finger, a sheepish expression on their face, "Um...Sorry?" She laughs, hard and head tossed back as Natalie blushes but throws it behind her with a flick of the finger before they start kissing again, their fingers tracing up her arm and snaps the bra strap against her shoulder and she flinches with it

"Someone's sensitive," Natalie comments on her jump, the TV playing in the background, the mattress shifts as well as Natalie does leaning against the wall, hands going up and down the sides of her body, - taut and still and she is sensitive, incredibly sensitive, she is, she is, she _is_ \- She lets out a big breath of air out of her mouth instead as Natalie's lips and tongue meet at her neck, to not....groan, she actually hasn't ever had....sex, of sexual activities with a female or someone who identifies with female pronouns.

Plus she doesn't want to make Natalie uncomfortable but her hand goes behind Natalie's head to make them stay there while craning her neck go give them more space "Come on babygirl, why are you being so shy? What it is it?" Natalie asks this time, kissing all the way down to where the top of her bra is, tongue travelling down to the middle of her sternum and she grunts at both things, trying desperately ( _and mostly failing_ ) to not bring her hips down, she doesn't want....

She wants that sort of intimacy with Natalie, it's not just some orgasm or a "relief" people call it, but she needs that sort of support and intimacy with Natalie too. It's just not just....sex, to her, it's like....something different, something special and she lets go. Groaning, she's flipped over by Natalie to lay on her back this time and Natalie hovering over her

"I'm _not_ shy, I.....I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or like, if I want something and you don't want it then I don't want make you feel obligated to do it to just make me feel good or if whatever your feeling," She finally answers them, panting between her words and Natalie is smirking down at her because she gets her nervous rambling from her Aunt Kara and she is nervous, she is, she doesn't want to mess this up. Because they have talked about sex, they've talked a lot about it, especially when Ruby first came out just in case Ruby needed to go to someone who has had past experience with it, what happens and.....well, what does happen.

_Wink wink_ , she thinks when Natalie grins even further leaning on their elbows like a exercise plank. "Oh babygirl, I'm all good over here. So do whatever you want, beautiful."

"But what if it's like....pervy. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or like, weird."

"You won't. If you do, I'll ask for a yellow or a red, remember when we talked about that? Yellow for slow down and red for a complete stop? But we don't have to have sex today, I don't need to go down on you." Natalie reassures Ruby while bending down to kiss the tip of her nose, pulling a strand behind her ear while their hand flips and their knuckles feel the blushing cheek but she nods, breathing in deeply. Well, she doesn't know whose the most impatient person, her or Natalie, not even asking once to have sex, the first.....seventeen months that they've been together as a couple, asking for consent. TO KISS HER. On the _cheek_.

"Just touch me, please, please."

"Okay. Okay. Just give me a yellow or tell me to stop if you don't like something or if it's too much." Oh dear god, oh god don't, Ruby thinks while Natalie leans down again, purposely (or properly) dragging their lips slowly on her chest, teeth biting into the bra and their hands pulling hers to hold their shoulders.

She twists but she can't move. A delicious feeling, she groans this time of....relief, her hips jump up to Natalie's but theirs are out of her space, lips wrapping tight into her skin and a bite mark is made that make her clench and then jerk this time "I think you have a kink for being held down, sweet girl." Natalie mumbles into her chest and she does jerk forward this time and feeling a grin on Natalie's face pressed to her skin, traveling down further while letting her hands go. A finger counts every rib, poking a little on the bone as it tickles, giggling and she pushes the hand clumsily away and she sits up a little, unclasping her own bra while it falls loose as she lays down again

"Go on, I want you to take it off." Natalie swallows, looking at her and then the half taken off item as their jaw clenches and unclenches before hands pulling down the bra straps and taking it off fully. The free air hits her bare chest, trying not to inhale too sharply at that, but it's sort of hard to not with Natalie looking down at her like she's a full snack and her hand hovers in the air, looking right at her face and then lower, repeating a few times. Oh god, she might not live to tell the story. "Can I....Can I, some girls or women like different things, some like direct stimuli and some need it to....come. Can I see what you like?" Natalie - properly - asks this time, shifting their face right above her breasts but she nods, chest heaving and trying not to hyperventilate (she's sort of failing, she's horny as hell but doesn't want out black out on this moment)

Natalie lets her breathe for a second, probably noticing her rapid heartbeat in her chest, their hand cups her breast to squeeze the soft skin, holding both of them in her palms and she chokes, hand holding their arm to keep Natalie's arm still She holds Natalie wrist this time for them to stop, and they do, "Can I, you- can I try-...." They nod this time, understanding, or trying to, letting her get up and move out of the way before they lay down in her spot, hands above her head and their body arching up like they're putting on a show - for her.

She swallows, straddling their waist as her legs bend down, ass up in the air, kissing her way up from their belly button, a hand holding their side of the body and her nails scratching down their abs. The solid ridges and columns of their abs, clenching together tight and taut as their lips shake of inhaling She gets an idea, pulling Natalie's hands up to hold the sides of her ass while she bends down her mouth to suck on the soft muscle, a tongue poking out first and then wrapping her lips around the soft moving muscle, sucking on their abs.

She does want them to feel how good they make her feel. Hopefully. Natalie does moan this time, hands gripping her ass to spur her on and she moved to the side, biting and licking. "Ruby, Ruby, Ruby," It's hot that an Arias mixed in with a Luthor making a Gortman moan for her but it's the preformed usually deep voice to try and make themselves feel more comfortable of being masculine, of being nonbinary, moaning and hands trail up her bare back, making her still

"That is my name." She teases, her tongue tracing under the bra while Natalie looking down at her, sucking skin with her teeth above her bra as it bounced back andtheir eyes rolling back. That's a sight she wouldn't mind seeing more. "Take my bra off, my bra it-"

"What's the magic word?" She teases again, her teeth going to pull the bra strap down her shoulder as Natalie huffed in annoyance there.'s no way in hell they would beg if she asked them too. They have too much pride for that.

"Okay, okay." She laughs again, seeing their distress on their short blonde hair messy and tangly on the pillow for squirming so much, straddling their legs again while tapping their shoulder as they arched up for her and she unclipped the two clipper metal wires while tossing the bra behind both of themselves. Their chest heaved, breasts bouncing a little in spot and shown off a little more with their hands above their head as mercy, she swallows, a hand holding both their wrists in one and her mouth sucking right above the nipple,

"You're so beautiful, You're so good, you're so good for me with my teasing, my lips, my teeth."

"When did you get so good at dirty talk?" Natalie squeaked, arching up towards her mouth

"It's easy when it's with you."

"Oh god-" Natalie half choked and half moaned, lips shuddering out while Ruby's finger went in her own mouth to slick it with wetness, flicking the nipple with both fingers, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. They let out a breath, oh that feels good. So good. Jesus, they might die or have some sort of Daxamite heart failure from sexual tension in Ruby Arias's house, held down, watching Ruby playing with their nipples with flicking the wet nipple back and forth and up and down. Their belly is taut and slick from Ruby's teasing earlier but they relaxed, hips lowering before her lips took a nipple into her mouth, lips around the areola

"God, your nipples are perfect, so hard and pink," Natalie's breasts are perky and soft as the rest of their skin, but they do work out like three times a week - not to mention lugging around tires and boxes of equipment for the garage that Ruby can't lift, not even with her own super strength - but they aren't as big as Ruby's, but they can't concentrate, moaning and hands limp against her hold. Ruby's mouth went to the other side, nipple hard and a soft pink matching her lips colour and she didn't mean to - really, she didn't, she was just trying to get comfortable -

But her knee went right for their center, their pussy, for them to touch to not feel the huge built up warmth in her belly for her teasing, her kisses, everything, and they bucked - "Oh sorry! I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? I'm-"

They shake their head because of course _not_ , not at all. "No, no it just....feels good. Remember when I said some people didn't need penetration to come?" They half asked and half told her, squeaking as Ruby let their hands go, kissing each wrist. She positions herself again, it's an awkward position but it helps them ride down their wetness on Ruby's thigh, to....ride against - oh god this feels dirty, insanely dirty, and sticky with their pre cum on Ruby's thigh and, oh god, - they moaned, hands pulling themselves up to Ruby while their clit rubbed against her thigh, head thrown back as Ruby bent down to kiss their chin

"That's it, baby, rub, baby."

"Ohhhh. Oh goddd- oh godohgodohgod," Their voice isn't that at all feminine or even high pitched since they came out of nonbinary, but it is certainly now, whining and a mouth open in a "O" and their eyes scrunched up, tight. Soon their high does come down as well as their hips lower to the mattress, Ruby pushes their chest down to the mattress so their back doesn't strain holding themselves up, while she slowly takes their leg away and they whimper, jerking into thin air

"Shh, it's okay. Are you sensitive?"

"No I'm having a heart attack. Yes, I'm sensitive." Natalie drawls but their pussy is but once, slapped lightly by Ruby and their hips jerk forward feeling nothing once again. Jesus, their face must be in fire.

"Don't get smart, I want to make sure you're okay." They grin, opening their eyes to see Ruby hovering ove them and they flip her onto the mattress again, making her laugh while pulling their bodies close together as skin flushes.

"I'm perfect." They purr back, licking up from above her belly button making her hiss a breath in

"I love you back," _Shit did she say that out loud by accident?_ "Is it okay if....how many fingers do you need?" I mean, how could Ruby not blush at that? Asking how many fingers you need to come? It's all too much not not enough, Natalie's mouth is busy with flicking a nipple with their own tongue, slipping the red thong down her legs and she kicks them off, it feels rather.....uncomfortable. Down there. It's sticky, wet and well, warm, Natalie's hands push her hips apart as they comply but she gasps, cheeks flushed

"Just o-one. For now." She decides on the last second to not make herself hurt with too much at once, Natalie nods, wiggling down the bed to get in the right position while spreading Ruby's lips apart with their thumbs, blowing out air on the hood of her clit that stood to its attention, pink and puffy along the edges but a darker red in her inner lips. _Delicious_. Ruby squirms above her, trying to shut her legs of the cold sensation that looks like something is positively tingling and they click their tongue in mockery making her look down at the same time they suck on her clit, teasing the little junction - the clitoris is the most sensitive area in the whole....pussy, lets see how long Ruby lasts -

They swirl their tongue in a slow, wide circle before letting go and their fingertips teasing her hips all the way to stimulating the skin to keep her fingers in a peace sign, just heating up the outer lips around her pussy, warm and fast. Ruby's thick, white as cream juices sprung out all from their teasing and they smirk. " _Gotcha_."

"So pretty for me, so wet." Ruby barely heard the words, not knowing if Natalie is actually talking to her right now or not, before a soft, plush thing touched her clit to slowly pull her folds into their mouth; sucking on the inner walls as the second finger entered her, scissoring a little and she moans, fingers playing with her own nipples. Natalie hummed up at her, blue eyes dark as the deep sea instead of the sky, taken over by excitement and lust, lips wrapped around her clit licking at different rhythms to keep her off balance and the humming didn't help at all and her head fell on the pillow, _hopeless_ and groaning.

Natalie hummed again, amused probably.

"Please don't tease me, I cant hold on any longer, please, I need to-"

"Come for me, babygirl." Her desperate eyes stare back up to Natalie, nodding and allowing permission for her to, she half sits up, hands holding their back, nails in their skin as an anchor to keep herself up but Natalie's strong hands do it for, one working on her and one holding up her back. Her neck is kisses with lips, hot tongues and slippery of being too fast to say anything else, and she nods back, a gulp of air down her throat.

Natalie does increase their own speed, seeing their hand going in and out, out and in, the same heat from earlier is building up, right underneath her bellybutton. Oh sweet Rao, that's sweet relief. Natalie's whole arm flexes, concentrating while one last sharp edge of teeth is on her neck

Like she could care at anything else in the moment, moaning out Natalie's name; their last name, anything in between and her favourite curse word - motherfucker - a lot of times, she's half sitting up with Natalie's hand still inside of her and their hand moving that was holding her up. She's lowered down to the bed again, Natalie kissing anywhere they can, her shoulder blade, her neck, wherever they can reach and she arched into them in the process, bare chests touching each other and her head limp in their hold

"I'm going take my fingers out now, are you okay?" Natalie asks and nods, awake but also very, very sleepy making a little nose of discontent and a nose scrunch up. They suck their fingers off, humming, knowing they would love her taste no matter what, while pulling the blanket up over the both of them. Ruby is already asleep but head still moving to find where they are, slipping in the blanket, feathers and the smell of driftwood around them, kissing her shoulder.

//

9:38 a.m

It all felt....too quiet, when she woke up. Usually her first wake up call is one of her Aunt's pulling the covers off of her, it's either a tickle attack or a kiss pressed to the side of her head or if she throws a pillow at them, or maybe in the mood for cuddles - which is about a 50/50 chance if she's being honest - But her second wake up call if she doesn't wake up fast enough then they let the children jump on her bed, patting her face and already giggling so loud that they're yelling so that's when she usually does wake up before they wreck her room and her bones

(Honestly, how is a four year old so adorable, so sweet and kind to even strangers, but being jumped on, a knee kicking her stomach as her breath is knocked out of her at six am on weekends? Not fun. Not. At. All.)

It is quiet when she blinks her eyes open. It is quiet when she squints her eyes closed with the sunlight coming in through the huge windows of the living room - she honestly has to go buy curtains today - but the warm light did make her snuggle back into the blankets as her arm flopped to the right side of her where Natalie....isn't. Frowning, a hand coming to shield the light as she tosses on her side, Natalie isn't even there but there is a little yellow sticky note is,

" _Went to go get donuts and coffee from a little shop you like. I'll probably be back before you wake up but this is just in case,_

_Natalie,"_ With a little black ink coloured in heart at the end of their name, she grinned, folding it in two before hiding it under her pillow and that's when she really looks around. The blankets, aren't really blankets actually but she sort of felt hot with the sun right on her anyway, getting up, feathers, scratch marks and a fist sized hole beside the mattress on her left showed of what they were up to....previously. Her cheeks blush, digging in one of the suitcases, wearing another pair of underwear since Natalie sort of ripped them off of her - sort of - as well a light grey tank top, she opens the door, plucking the newspaper off the floor

"Siri, turn on my main playlist on Spotify," She called out, knowing her Iphone would hear her due to voice control as Siri did comply, the song, "Stay" by Rihanna and Mike Ekko a song that she so loved since it came out, years ago. Yes, she's a nerd, she reads the newspaper almost everyday but she got that either from her Aunt Kara or Aunt Maggie's dorkiness.

A knock on the door. She flicked her eyes up to that sound, Natalie would never knock on any circumstances but her purse from last night she dropped was at her feet and she picked the gun up, loading it, "Come in! It's open!" Old habits die hard but she's still a DEO Agent, still a trained soldier, the gun handle feels like a perfect weight in her hand, while....Nia walks in. She tried not to majorly sigh at that, it's just Nia, it's not one of Ryan Deji's contacts or friends coming after her, it's not, it's not- Eleanor is perched on her hip as well, her dark red hair combed back into a high perched ponytail on her head, also dressed for the cold weather outside in a pink puffy jacket on and little black boots.

Oh god-

"Uh, goodmorning? Dude, we were going to go for early coffee before you went to school?" Nia asks - to be honest, she doesn't know what Nia is to her, it's sort of weird if Nia is her Aunt since they're so close by age, she just turned eighteen and Nia is twenty three. And Nia is one of her closest friends as well, she's so sweet, so protective and like, happy to help people, as a reporter or as a superhero. Nia Nal is freaking cool. -

She unloads the gun, letting the bullet drop in her hand while she puts it under the newspaper, asking Siri to turn the music off before Eleanor is patting at her knees and reaching for her She lifts her, kissing the chubby cheek. "Morning. I- um, uh....you know, I'm- maybe tomorrow morning, just running ridiculously late," She scratched at her neck and dismissed off lamely, this has been talked about, even to Nia, well, no duh, the two young adults do vent to each other a lot but it was put in the DEO records and she's known as "Rule Breaker Ruby" now.

Plus she's never been a good liar. Nia is one of her bestfriends, she's seen it, her eyebrow twitched but dropped it, stepping further into the apartment and she wants the floor to swallow her up. Nia's eyes widen seeing the condition of the apartment, the clothes everywhere, seeing the dent in the wall, in the floor, feathers everywhere with the broken pillow in the middle of the room, poked in the side

"Did you at least use protection?"

Protecti- What?

"That's not how it....works." She rubs the side of her face with her hand as Nia laughs, careless and giddy but her breath hitches in the middle of it, not quite looking in Ruby's eyes but doesn't comment on it, kissing her cheek messily and she squirms in her hold, Eleanor giggling of their silliness.

"Good for you, kiddo. Ooh nuts, look at the time! Come on peanut, let's get you to daycare," Nia kisses her head this time, and then picking Eleanor up by under her armpits, hoisting her up a little after losing her grip before waving at her and disappearing down the hallway with every click of her heels before the door shuts. That was....weird.

But it must have been weird for Nia to see her still in her comfy home clothes, she wouldn't bail or ditch Nia and she definitely heard the gun click when she walked in, definitely going to talk to her about that later on but for now, she put the music back on, relaxing. The door did open again this time and she knew it were Natalie - or hoped, not wanting to see any other family members when she's half naked - and yep. Natalie.

The top of their head and tips of the longer blonde hair sticky and shown of snowflakes on it, holding up a cardboard tray full of two cups of " _Nat_ " and " _R.G_ " on opposite cups, a white cardboard bag in their other hand, " _Betty Shack"_ on the middle of it and holding a bag of something else. Interesting, they didn't say about anything else. They smile, showing their teeth while putting all of it down on the kitchen island in front of her, "Hey, good morning. You get up all right?" They ask, skipping off their boots while their jacket is draped on the chair beside her

"Yeah, yeah I'm good." She takes the cup of coffee out of the tray and humming at her taste of coffee, three sugar, just how she likes it. Natalie nods but something else flickers in their eyes like Nia's did earlier, a little downcast and a darker blue than their original light sky blue. They're dressed in a simple black t shirt of "Twenty One Pilots" pulling the shirt right over their chest, and she stands, taking their phone out of their hands and draping her own around their neck "Natalie? What is it, I can tell when you're upset."

She whispers, she lists all the ways in her head of when Natalie is upset or mad, their shoulders tense making it look like their shirt is going to pop, their eyes go dark and their jaw isn't clenched but they're probably biting their inside cheek, hesitating to say something. Their shoulders do slump, being caught by her and pressing their forehead to hers. Ah that's better. But- "But you aren't touching me, why aren't you touching me?" She doesn't mean as a sexual comment, Natalie looks down at her like that, brown and blue meeting, they sigh while leading their barely touching fingers down the main hallway where the bathroom is, second on the left.

They flick the light on, tilting the mirror downwards, "Just...just look." They tap her belly, actually her hip where the t shirt hem stops, playing with the hem - they're shaking, they're honest to Rao shaking - her brows furrow but strip out of her shirt, they move the mirror better while Natalie twists her body around and her neck to look over her shoulder to see.

She looks to them first but their eyes are glued to the mirror, looking at her body and not in a sexual way; there is bruises, huge, blue and purple bruises on her back, to be specific finger printed bruises on her back, her hips, there's a literal handprint bruise on her chest where Natalie was holding her down. Oh god, oh no- Natalie turns her further around again, seeing her front and there's hickies all over her neck, a bigger one under her collarbone where Natalie bit down when she was coming, her ribs are bruised as well with purple and yellow looking bruises. Bite marks under her shorts and around her bellybutton. There's scratch marks down her ribs as well, long and angry red lines probably from being scratched; there's more fingerprint and hand print bruises on her ribs though

"I promised myself I would never hurt you like your Mother did. Ever. Not even during sex." Natalie tells her, it's more than a statement than a question, there's fresh tears in their eyes and oh she loves that colour of blue, walls down and relaxed, their jaw hardened making their bottom lip tremble while they're out of the room in seconds, leaving her alone. No, no, she wanted this, she- Natalie turns, already down the hallway and she pulls the shirt on, wincing this time, no wonder fucking why Nia gave her......weird looks.

"No. No, we'll be more careful next time, okay? I wanted this. I needed this, I needed this from you." She tugs Natalie's elbow back a little bit and they let her, a single tear tracing down their cheek and looking absolutely disgusted with themselves and as her own heart breaks in two. She's not even sad or upset of being this....badly marked, this bad even, it certainly didn't hurt during the sec or she would have asked for a yellow or asking them to stop for a second, she would have, she tugs both arms around their back.

Which they do tense at but realize she didn't mess around with this while sighing and hugging her back, kissing the top of her head, "None of this changed my mind, okay? I wouldn't even noticed until you said something."

"You're really not hurt? You're not aching anywhere? I Googled some shops around us, some oils, some- some special cream for the bruises, the lady looked at me weird, I-I-I, you-" She giggles at them kissing her hard but quick, pulling her along while rushing to the kitchen counter again, ripping open the bag while little bottles of oils spill out with all different names, little cream containers, three different types of wipes in plastic packaging and Natalie giggles too, pushing it away but stares down at it, even when their cheek is kissed

"I don't need any of this to help me, emotionally. You didn't hurt me like any Mother, she emotionally manipulated me way before the physiological and physical abuse started. I don't need this to help me, not for the next time we have sex or for you look at me in the eye when I want to have sex. You weren't tough on me, I would have asked you to stop if it hurt me, but we should be careful next time." Ruby tells them, sitting down again while their hands are still clapped together while kissing their knuckles and Natalie does too, feeling a little....better.

Not a hundred percent, not today but eating three half eaten donuts in the box, feathers surrounding them and Ruby sipping her coffee beside them

It's all both of them need right now.


End file.
